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5th Annual DWTS Rankdown: Speed Run Edition


Alex95

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Bill Nye

 

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Guys, we still have awful dancers around. We didn't need to cut the big names so soon. I will continue to cut the awful dancers because there are far too many left. We're still in the 200's people, and bad dancers like Bill Nye are still around waiting to be cut. Bill competed on season 17, partnered with one-time pro Tyne Stecklein. Since he's known as Bill Nye the Science Guy they obviously he danced a science-themed Cha-Cha to "Weird Science" week 1. Which uh, was an awful dance. It only scored 14 points - the lowest score of the week. Week 2, he danced a Paso Doble to a Beethoven song and scored 17 points for it. He also injured himself during that dance, tearing ligaments in his left  leg. But he still went on to dance in week 3, where Tyne had to get very creative for their Jazz to "Get Lucky". She made him be a robot so he had to do very minimal actual dancing while she danced around him. A great showcase for Tyne, who is trained in Contemporary/Jazz, but yeah, the dance was pretty awful, scoring only 16 points. He was eliminated that week. I imagine he would've had to withdraw at some point if he managed to survive beyond week 3 because his injury was a pretty serious one. At least he had the decency to get eliminated early unlike the other, equally as bad of a dancer, Bill on the same season. He can go now. There's no room for bad dancers to stay especially since people couldn't just wait to cut the good dancers when there's so much fodder left.

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Suzanne Somers

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Anyways this was the cut I was trying to make yesterday until I had to be petty lol. Suzanne is someone I want to like, but she's just a bit too crazy for my liking with all her alternate medicine bullshit. Suzanne was on S20 of DWTS, partnered with Tony. The old lady getting Tony?! What a surprise! For her age, Suzanne wasn't all that bad. She had some rhythm and she performed all the steps well. Of course she lacked the big "wow" moment, but I don't think anyone had high expectations for her. She lasted four weeks until she was eliminated after her Lady and the Tramp inspired Jazz routine. It should've been Chris, but I wasn't heartbroken to lose Suzanne. Her cut here is justified based on her time on the show. It's also justified because, like I said, she's kinda crazy. And I would be mainly okay with that if she didn't also ramble on about how the Sandy Hook shooting happened cause of household cleaners and toxins in the shooters diet and shit like that :wacko:

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Suzanne Somers

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Best known for her roles on Three's Company and Step By Step, Suzanne competed on Season 20 of Dancing with Patti LaBelle and Some Other Stars, I Guess, partnered up with Tony. Her five weeks on the show didn't really have any memorable moments. She forgot most of the routine on her final week in the competition and then got eliminated. I'm also always scared to see anyone who has a section on Wikipedia called "Views on medical subjects" which is almost as big as their own career section. Suzanne is coming up to six decades in the industry! This is concerning! As are a lot of those views if you read any further. Safe cut for the timebeing, I'll save the big cuts for another time.

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Chuck Liddell

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Well Chuck, guess you got unlucky on this occasion. Chuck was one of the 58 celebrities selected to compete on Season 9 of DWTS, partnered with queen Anna. Not a natural dancer, Chuck was able to stick around for a few weeks but was just a pretty stiff and unnatural mover. Really struggling to say much more about him so I took to a Google search and... welp yeah that'll do it.

 

 

Chuck was also on Season 1 of Celebrity Big Brother, gave nothing and was voted out first, then a few celebrities the next season who clearly never watched the show were calling him his favorite player or something lmao :dead: Move over Dr. Will!

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Jesse Metcalfe

 

DWTS: Jesse Metcalfe Eliminated from Season 29 | PEOPLE.com

 

Jesse is also known as both Jon Rowland from Desperate Housewives where he played the cute gardener who was sleeping with one of the housewives, and John Tucker from the film John Tucker must die.  He probably should have done DWTS a decade ago when he was more in his prime.  However he waited a long time and faded into obscurity.  Don't get me wrong he can still get it in his old age, but I he is pretty washed up these days.  He was partnered with Sh*rna on season 29 and for nostalgia and because he's still hot I rooted for him a bit.  Problem is, he's a terrible dancer and had to dance with Sh*rna.  During his 5 week stint on the show, he never scored higher then a 21.  He probably got about as appropriate place possible since he didn't rob anyone (except Anne). 

Edited by Solaris
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1 hour ago, taylorkat said:

I like Suzanne on Three's Company.

I liked her on Step by Step. :haha: 

 

53 minutes ago, Solaris said:

I was 50 words into my chuck write up and refreshed.  Alright good.

You should have posted it for the LOLZ. 😢 :dead: 

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Suni Lee
Suni Lee is an Olympic gymnast and was cast for Dancing with the Stars season thirty. Suni was a fine enough dancer but didn’t have the grit or attitude to pull off most of her routines. She was so groomed by gymnastics that it appeared she couldn’t really let loose and show she was having a good time. I don’t even remember any of her routines but I remember ranking her dead last for most of the competition. I didn’t find myself enjoying her at all and I thought Sasha could’ve done amazing if he was partnered with someone else. Whilst I really dislike her run of the show - I don’t think she’s solely to blame. I just don’t think she was a good fit for the show. One of the most blah contestants and there’s been a fair few.

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TED McGINLEY

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I'll continue helping rid this game of fodder while the petty cuts recommence. Ted McGinley was the second boot of Season 7 of Dancing With The Stars, so I'm sure this is a fair cut to make. I don't know who Ted McGinley is, but apparently he is an actor who has a reputation as the "sitcom killer." He joined the casts of Happy DaysThe Love BoatDynasty, and Married… with Children late into their runs. Shortly after his characters were introduced, these shows would end. That's really bad luck there. Anyway, Ted was an average contestant. He only got 6's for both his dances, except for one 7 from Bruno. He danced with Inna Brayer. He placed twelfth overall. And now out he goes from the rankdown.

Edited by Steven_
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Aiden Turner

 

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Aiden Turner is an actor and model known for his role on the soap opera All My Children.  He modeled for Avon and appears in their print catalogs.  He was also in a CoverGirl commercial with Molly Sims.  He appears in Geri Halliwell's "Bag It Up" music video.  He was a guest star on Single Ladies, NCIS: Los Angeles, and Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. He was also on the series If Loving You Is Wrong.  Aiden was on Season 10 of Dancing with the Stars and his partner was Edyta Śliwińska.  He danced a Cha-Cha, Foxtrot, Quickstep, and Rumba before he was eliminated.  His lowest score was a 15 and his highest score was a 20.  

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