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2019 Dancing with the Stars Rankdown


Alex95

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1 minute ago, Solaris said:

did you just ignore my cut on the front page?

Nope yours was just after Elliott's so I don't update the front page till I have the writeups in the correct order. But now that Elliott refreshed, he got bumped down so I'm updating you and Chris' cuts now.

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JENNIFER GREY

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Jennifer Grey is the winner of the eleventh season of the show. AKA the season where her far superior runner-up Kyle & Lacey (who I'm aware is probably a terrible person irl but for the purposes of this write-up, I will be focusing solely on his run as a dancer) never scored a 30 despite having the best freestyle of the night. AKA the season where 90s R&B-pop & television icon Brandy Norwood was ROBBED in fourth place despite being the best dancer that season by far. Jennifer Grey is one of the most maddeningly mediocre winners, and won solely because she was with golden child D*rek Hough and had her connection to Patrick Swayze. Know that. The only good thing to say about Jennifer & D*rek winning is that at least it wasn't Br*stol Palin winning, which is the definition of #lowstandards.

 

Week 1. Jennifer & D*rek dance a Viennese Waltz that gets a 24. Brandy & Maks and Kyle & Lacey both scored a 23 that was underscored. The fix was already on.

Week 2. Jennifer & D*rek dance a jive to Shake It by Metro Station and get another 24. Choices. Kyle & Lacey get a 22, the same score as Br*stol & Mark, while Brandy & Maks get a 21. The level of caucacity... far too much.

Week 3. Jennifer & D*rek get yet another 24 for their show-opening Samba. I've seen Jennifer Grey dance. It did not deserve three 8s, rofl. Brandy & Maks tied her with a 24 for their far superior Samba to Alicia Keys & Beyoncé. Kyle & Lacey immediately follow and get a 23. Seems about white.

Week 4. They were double scored this week for some odd reason, but whatever. Jennifer & D*rek get a 27 and a 29, meaning they earned the first 10s of the season. Brandy & Maks get a 22 and a 26 for a fantastic rumba. I guess the only time Maks' rumbas get appreciated with scores is when there's a shock elimination pending. Kyle & Lacey get an 18 (the same score as Br*stol) and a 22. What privilege.

Week 5. Jennifer & D*rek struggle with a foxtrot to the Married... With Children theme that still somehow gets a 25. It's a classic sitcom that appeals to her fanbase, so naturally the judges and voters eat it up. Brandy & Maks excel with a quickstep in the opening slot that only gets a 27. Even though it deserved the 10s more than Jennifer's week four dance. Kyle & Lacey also do a Foxtrot that scores a 20. Despite the fact that it was still marginally better than Jennifer's, but this was a rough week for Kyle & Lacey.

Week 6. Jennifer & D*rek dance a tragic paso doble that still gives them a 20. Kyle & Lacey do a fun tango that gets a 23. Fair enough score, but I'd have personally given it a 24. Brandy & Maks continue to excel, dancing a tango to close the couple dances... but are only rewarded with a 28. In the dance-off, Kyle & Lacey are eliminated in fourth, earning an additional 7 points. Jennifer & D*rek for whatever reason are dragged to the final two (fitting), earning 9 points. Brandy & Maks rightfully come out on top with 10 points. Jennifer & D*rek are put as the last couple in jeopardy to rile up their fanbase to vote for her since she clearly isn't delivering in her dances.

Week 7. Jennifer & D*rek earn a 37 for their tango the The Black Eyed Peas. I can't believe they would disrespect the Peas and Queen of singing the national anthem Fergie like that, smh. Kyle & Lacey do a paso doble to En Vogue and earn a lower score of 35. Brandy & Maks deliver a stunning foxtrot to Fever and are only awarded with a 37.

Week 8. Jennifer & D*rek are tasked with a quickstep and an instant rumba. The quickstep is one of the worst dances of their run, despite still getting a 27/30. Their rumba earns the first perfect score of the season, which was truly a choice. Kyle & Lacey get a 27 for their Viennese Waltz and a 29 for the Instant Jive. Even though both routines are better than what Jennifer & D*rek turned in. Brandy & Maks are awarded a 29 for their Waltz and a 28 for their Instant Cha Cha, even though both dances were truly fantastic.

Week 9. Jennifer & D*rek earn a perfect 60 after dancing a Cha-Cha-Cha and a Waltz. I have to laugh. Kyle & Lacey get a 58/60 for their Samba and Argentine Tangos. It should come as no surprise that Len Goodman was the only one who didn't give them a 10. DOTDOTDOT HMM. Brandy & Maks earn a 27 for their paso doble. Br*stol & Mark also did a paso doble for the first round, and it also earned a 27. Like I've been saying for years, get rid of these judges. Their second dance, a sensational Argentine Tango, becomes their first and only perfect 30, as the pair are unjustifiably eliminated the next evening. Despite the fact that Br*stol Palin was right there. Despite the fact that Jennifer Grey was also right there.

In the finale, Jennifer Grey continued to be overstored and earned a then-record of five perfect scores in a season. Disgusting. Kyle & Lacey where only given a 27 for their first routine, and a 29 for their hip-hop inspired freestyle. It shouldn't be a surprise that Len Goodman was the only one who didn't award them a 10 for that dance. For what reason you ask? Well it's not nice to speculate, but I'm sure Kel Mitchell also has some things to say about Len's giving the hip-hop freestyles a 9.

 

Jennifer was a very obvious winner, since she was a judges' favourite, partnered with the show's golden child and had some different sob story to air every single week. She's fortunate that she was in a season with Bristol Palin, because her very obvious shortcomings as a contestant were masked by how dreadful Bristol was. But in a season with the extremely talented Brandy Norwood and then Kyle Massey having the great growth arc she did, her winning over two far more talented POC wasn't the most exciting. Good riddance to her in this rankdown as far as I'm concerned.

 

SAVE: Kel Mitchell

Edited by Elliott
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3 minutes ago, Alex95 said:

Nope yours was just after Elliott's so I don't update the front page till I have the writeups in the correct order. But now that Elliott refreshed, he got bumped down so I'm updating you and Chris' cuts now.

if I knew Jennifer would move up even more than she already deserves, I wouldn't have refreshed my cut and just risked that last minute smh/fml

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1 minute ago, Deeee said:

 

Better yet, he cut Zendaya for no good reason at all. Sola needs to re-think some of his decisions. LOL. 

 

 

I thought my decisions through.  You do an awful lot of commenting about me, and no one cares besides you and some troll we have the misfortune of dealing with.  If you don't like what I do, move on because frankly you do many things I don't like.  However I don't feel the need to make it known every single time or dwell on it.  

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