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Films of the 2000s Rankdown


Alex95

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Just now, aliasocfan said:

I might give Saw an honorary write up. 

The write up was very good for someone who doesn't love the franchise. 

(I will die on the hill that Saw II is better) 

I look forward to it if you do! I love both but I have to give the edge to the first. 

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Ignoring the Rowling of it all, none of the movies are objectively that good besides Azkaban when you turn off the nostalgia blinders. We’re nearing top 100 here. A kid’s movie about wizards riddled with plot holes simply doesn’t compare to what’s left in the game.

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Harry Potter and the Philosopher's/Sorcerer's Stone (2001)

A poster depicting a young boy with glasses, an old man with glasses, a young girl holding books, a redheaded boy, and a large bearded man in front of a castle, with an owl flying. The left poster also features an adult man, an old woman, and a train, with the titles being "Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone".

 

The first HP book was the most... juvenile? Kid-friendly? of the series, and that's fine. It was a good way to get kids hooked and reading. I don't think that makes it bad. It doesn't have hardly any literary merit in terms of the writing/prose/language, but it does a phenomenal job of creating the word. HP1 sets up the entire magical world in the shortest book! It's remarkable! JKR later forgets how to summarize or do any time skips and that's how we get stuck with messes like HP5 that have a million pages but zero substance. The reason I bring all that up is because this movie was the most like a kid's movie. The colors are all bright, it's all exciting, we get to see the magical world unravel before our eyes through the lens of Harry who is also discovering the world. The art direction here is also pretty decent, which is important for me in particular because I despise the art direction of HP2 and what they did with the dementors and the horntail in later movies. Everything pretty much looks how it's supposed to look. Maybe the chess set could have been scaled down a bit... but overall it's pretty good.

 

Also, because it's the shortest book, that means it was the easiest to turn into a movie. They didn't have to cut a whole lot out. And some of the stuff they did cut out should have also been cut out of the novel as well, so I loved that lol. Like, in the book they had Charlie Weasley fly into Hogwarts airspace on a bunch of dudes on brooms to smuggle out a dragon? That just does not compute with everything they tell us about the castle. That sort of unauthorized clandestine air travel simply should not have happened. And we shouldn't have wasted pages following the trio while that operation went down. In the movie they cut it out completely and it was better off for it. We actually never even meet Charlie Weasley in any of the films which is amazing except they INTRODUCE STUPID BILL WEASLEY IN THE FIRST HP7 FILM WHICH IS THE DUMBEST THING EVER LIKE HE WAS ALREADY OMITTED FROM THE OTHERS WE DON'T NEED HIM IN THE 7TH MOVIE ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU HAVE A PERFECTLY BETTER COUPLE IN TONKS/REMUS TO FOCUS ON FOR THE MARRIAGE AND SHELL COTTAGE, LIKE IT'S THE EASIEST EDIT IN THE WORLD AND YOU DON'T HAVE BILL'S CHARACTER SPEWING LINES OF DIALOGUE okayyyyyy wow I need to stop this is about HP1

 

So basically HP1 is a cute harmless kid movie that did a decent job of adapting the source material! Not the movie's fault that Quidditch is stupid like why have the Snitch be 150 points, even the weirdos who larp the quidditch in real life didn't have the snitch be that many points, and are there really only 6 games of quidditch for the whole year? like the year is long you can squeeze in multiple games against the same house lol

 

Also can we talk about how Google is infinitely better than any magic library? Like it takes Hermione an entire book to find out what the stone is but Google can do it in .5 milliseconds 

 

And I mentioned this before but having Harry be incapacitated at the climax and passing out rather than having to write a denouement after the Quirrel battle is silly, she's always trying to make Harry passive like hiding in his cloak to overhear conversations and being in pain and not being able to fend for himself. anyway this should be 100 words at this point lol

 

save Oldboy

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Hairspray (2007 dir. by Adam Shankman)

 

jumping up and down amanda bynes GIF

 

Though a huge musical fan, I really cannot tell you much about Hairspray and its history on Broadway, outside of the John Waters original. It has admittedly been a long time since I have seen Hairspray as directed by Adam Shankman. I remember liking the movie. The cast is talented. The performances are good. Hairspray has some catchy numbers. All the ingredients are there and I understand why so many people fell in love with this adaptation. But the movie just never clicked for me? Maybe because John Travolta. Probably because of John Travolta. Divine is a star and Travolta just crawls under my skin. However, I do think that Nikki Blonsky gave a stellar performance as Tracy Turnblad and deserved all the praise she received. I really wish a fan of this movie was cutting it so that the write-up would do the film some justice. I am sorry to Chris and Diana - slim pickings by the time I got to my cut! But Hairspray ranking this highly is respectable and definitely a reflection of the positive impact it had on its fans.

 

SAVING: Donnie Darko

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Saw

GIF by Film School Shorts

I think I promised some other honorary write up, but... yeah. That did not happen. Saw was released back in 2004. There are 3 things that make this movie stand out. It had an absurdly low budget.  (signature jump cuts because they had to improvise because of lack of footage) They only filmed for 18 days. (legit had sets being taken down as they were filming the final scenes. It was a mess) The traps, such a signature of the franchise, were an after thought. (I am assuming in 2023, you either have seen Saw or have no interest in seeing Saw #spoilers) They just exist to help introduce John Kramer. It just added stakes to the game in the bathroom. 

 

The negatives are Cary Elwes pretending he can sound American and Leigh Whannell pretending he can act. It was rough times. On the opposite site of the acting, they were so lucky they cast Tobin Bell and Shawnee Smith in those tiny roles. They really carried that franchise afterwards. Cause let's face it baby, these days, you've gotta have a sequel. 

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3 hours ago, *Chris said:

Majority of Idolforums users would have heard of Once due to its Academy Award winning song, "Falling Slowly", following it being performed by Kris Allen

Good to know I’m in the minority who just likes this musical!!!!!! And knew it before Kris Allen!!!!!!!

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