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Dancing with the Stars Rankdown 4.0 (Winner reveal page 201)


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DAVID ALAN GRIER

 

David Alan Grier, known for his hit single Baby One More Time*, is an actor and comedian best known for his work on In Living Color in the 1990s. Some of us - namely, me - know his from his role in the incredible Tales From the Hood (ignore the sequels) as well. He was partnered with Kym Johnson and they were eliminated in the fifth week, after he lost 26 pounds during the first four weeks. His highest score was a 24, and his lowest was a 17. He outlasted some of the people that were left in nominations with him but I cut him because he was the easiest to write 100 words about while I’m at work.

 

*I hope somebody understands this reference

 

SAVE: Denise Richards

Edited by Elliott
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Holly Madison

 

Holly Madison is famously one of Hugh Hefner’s former girlfriends. And since this isn’t a write up on Hefner I won’t go into how much he sucks. But he sucks. I don’t blame Holly for that though. She appeared on Season 8 of the show in 2009 which would have been just after she broke up with Hefner. Originally her spot was supposed to go to Jewel who had to withdraw due to fracturing both her tibias before the show was supposed to begin. According to my scan of Wikipedia. 
 

Holly was eliminated 3rd. While she wasn’t the best, she was never the worst and arguably should have outlasted Steve Wozniak, David Allen Grier, and Steve-O. Fortunately she barely outlasts them all here.

Edited by totes4totes
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Bill Nye

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Bill Nye was such a random and iconic casting on Season 17, but a very fair cut. He was paired with one-time pro Tyne Stecklein, which was a random choice because she wasn’t someone who worked her way through the troupe or had appeared on the show before (that I can remember, unless she showed up in a pro number at some point) but she seemed nice enough!

 

Bill had some background in swing dancing however, it didn’t exactly help him out on the show sadly. He was the weakest dancer of the season probably, with three entertaining, but not good dances, all were the lowest scores of the week. I remember his casting got a LOT of attention/love on social media and I thought he would have been one to outstay his welcome, but his elimination came at the right time. One of only a few justified eliminations that season! After those first three eliminations, everything went downhill. An easy cut in these noms.


Saving Jane Seymour

 

Edited by *Lily
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Valerie Harper

 

Dancing With the Stars' honors late Valerie Harper with star in the  ballroom - AOL Entertainment

 

Valerie Harper is a beautiful soul who graced us with her presence for Season 17 of DWTS. She’s an actress from Broadway, film, and TV. She was paired with Tristan, his final partner on the US series. They never scored higher than 7 and lasted 4 weeks. Her best dance was week 1 foxtrot. She placed 10th out of 12, with the lowest scores of the week for weeks 3 and 4. The best part about her appearance on the show was her enthusiasm for the whole process and joy. She died at age 80 in 2019, making her the second DWTS contestant to pass away after Florence Henderson.

 

 

Save Donald Driver

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Jaleel White

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I f*cking hated Jaleel when the show was airing. I don't know why anymore since it's been years, but his personality rubbed me the wrong way. Jaleel came out of the gate with a strong Foxtrot which propelled him to the top of the judge's leaderboard. He got the pimp spot and he came out of the premiere looking like the one to beat. I think Jaleel thought he was the sh*t after that and it wasn't a good look. After that first week, Jaleel definitely lost some steam and was really just riding off the high of that first week and him being Steve Urkel. With others rising, he fell into the dance duel against Gavin, but deservingly won. Jaleel recovered with a strong Cha-Cha-Cha the following week which helped save him, but he was still overall one of the weakest dancers remaining and just didn't have the fanbase on his side. After a mediocre Viennese Waltz, he landed in the dance duel again, this time against Roshon, and luckily King Roshon took him down. While Melissa continuing to advance was :/ I was fine to see Jaleel leave that week, especially over Roshon. Maybe I'm being too hard on him and I'd need to rewatch his dances, but I just remember not liking him.

 

Save Leah

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Gavin DeGraw

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Gavin DeGraw is a singer/songwriter, who competed on Dancing with the Stars Season 14 and was partnered with Karina Smirnoff. Gavin’s casting kinda surprised me because he was quite successful and a current star in music at the time, although I guess eh wasn’t as big as he was in the mid 2000s. He wasn’t like ~superstar level~ but yeah. Gavin lasted 5 weeks and made it to 9th place. Gavin danced a Foxtrot (scored a 20), a Jive (scored a 21), a Rumba (scored a 24), a Tango (scored a 23) and a Samba (scored a 19).

 

Three out of 5 of the weeks, he was the lowest scorer of the night, which surprised me, as I didn’t remember him being that bad. But i think the main issue with him was he lacked musicality in his dancing, which is strange for a musician. 

 

Now I actually really enjoy Gavin as a singer, and enjoy and love a number of his songs - such as “I Don’t Want to Be,” “Chariot,” “In Love with a Girl” and “Not Over You” as some of my standout favorites from his career. Gavin wouldn’t have been my cut if it was based on outside of the show stuff/feelings, as I am a fan of his music. But he seems like the weakest dancer of the nominees by the time I got to it, so I felt he was a fair cut at this point. I think his Tango to “Paint It, Black” was my favorite dance so I will link that below.

 

 

 

Saving: Maria Menounos

 

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Bill Engvall

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Oh, Bill. Very happy I get to cut him from the rankdown. He's one of many in the long list of mediocre white guys who skated by to the finals for doing the bare minimum while the actual talent was sent packing before his time. During his unnecessarily long journey on the show, he robbed Elizabeth, Brant, Snooki and Christina. ALL much better dancers than he was but of course since 3/4 of those names are women, the general audience saw they were good, shrugged and said "who cares?" while proceeding to vote for Bill who was awful every week. It took him until the finale to get a 9, which was completely undeserved but the judges have given up on being good at their jobs by that point, so he was given overly generous scores. He got the 25 for his freestyle with the 9 actually coming from Len. Isn't Len supposed to be the strict judge? His lowest score was a 18 for his Foxtrot. That's an awfully generous lowest score for someone who is not good in the slightest. Yeah, he was overscored all season and between that and the fanbase he managed to gain, I was worried he'd make Top 2 but luckily he didn't. He placed 4th and we got the perfect top 2 of Corbin & Amber. But his overstaying put a damper on the season as a whole and contributed to a truly wacky boot order. This was Emma's first season and set the stage for her to be partnered with the mediocre/bad male celebs virtually every season (obvious exceptions are Rashad and James). And this is where his journey in the rankdown ends, which is great because he has no business still being in it.

 

SAVING: Gladys Knight

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MARIE OSMOND

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Have I cut Marie Osmond all four rankdowns? This is definitely my third time after the first two, but I can’t remember if I did in the previous rankdown or not. Anyway, I clearly have a vendetta against Marie Osmond for beginning the butterfly effect that led to Mya being robbed! 😘  Marie Osmond was a finalist from the fifth season, making it to third place on the strength of 70s nostalgia, her 7000 family members (oh hey Jensen Arnold, didn’t see you there) and pity votes after she “fainted” before she could receive “critiques.” She was partnered with Jonathan Roberts, who - like his ex-wife Anna Trebunskaya - never really got a fair shot at celebrities, and ultimately lost to Helio and Mel B. Thankfully. But because she made it to third despite her mediocrity, the producers decided to cast her brother two years later, and he went on to rob Mya. 🙂 In the words of the gayest Disney villain - it’s cool, I’m fine, it’s cool, I’m fine. 😐 At least she isn’t anti gay marriage like Donny is, so she has that going for her?

 

SAVE: William Levy 🍦

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