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Dancing with the Stars Rankdown 4.0 (Winner reveal page 201)


Solaris

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random alert: Dennis Jauch was in the DWTS troupe for Seasons 22 and 23, and I only just now discovered that he's married to Leona Lewis and they are having a baby together. I added all the old troupe members on Instagram a while ago and forgot, but today I saw the baby announcement and was like ... WHO IS THIS???

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On 2/1/2021 at 8:22 AM, Elliott said:

CHRISHELL STAUSE

Chrishell_Stause_June_19,_2014_(cropped).jpg

 

Meh. I didn't really have any strong feelings on Chrishell in her season outside of my normal apathy for a Gleb partner. She did seem to improve as the season went on, which was nice to see, but I can't say I had any qualms with her leaving when she did. Though it was kind of hilarious how I predicted her being in the B2 almost every week in Wally's prediction game, only for her to get eliminated like the one week I didn't predict her. :dead: Her highest scoring dance was her Paso doble, which received a 26. Her lowest dance was her week 1 Tango, which scored a 13/30. She never was on top of the leaderboard because the judges were too busy having a hard-on for Nev, but she only landed at the bottom of the leader board once.

 

SAVE: Nikki Bella

I will now have to bring her to the top 20 for this incredible coming out announcement alone

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On 1/5/2021 at 11:23 PM, totes4totes said:

candace_parker_sparks_derek_fischerjpg.j

Derek Fisher

 

Two Sharna partners in a row for me. Derek Fisher was on season 25 of Dancing with the Stars where he was partnered with Sharna Burgess and for purely sport reasons I HATE him. He was completely mediocre the entire time which is the story of his entire life and career and they placed 11th. Yes I know he was a 5x NBA Champion but three times he was on the Kobe Bryant/Shaq Lakers and the other two he was with Kobe Bryant and Pau Gasol. Like. Sir. That's like being the 4th starter on the LeBron/Dwayne Wade/Chris Bosh Heat. It's like being the 5th starter on the Steph Curry/Klay/KD/Draymond Warriors. Debbie Gibson and Barbara Corcoran were robbed simply by placing lower than Derek Fisher because at least their bad dances were memorable. Derek Fisher's bad dances exist. Just like he does. 

 

AND YET. He keeps failing into head coaching positions. Obviously first to the LOLKnicks from 2014-2016 where he had a STUNNING 0.294 winning percentage. Somehow he got a second season with the Knicks despite winning fewer than 20 games. There are 82 games in the NBA season. He lost more than 62 games. He was fired in his second season with the Knicks after 54 games. They couldn't even wait another 28 games to fire him. Somehow this made him all the more appealing as a coaching candidate for the Los Angeles Sparks of the WNBA.

 

Sidebar. I love Women's Sports. My favorite league is the WNBA. My real twitter name is Dr. The Only Good Sports are Women's Sports. I buy the WNBA season pass each year. This year before the WNBA including very prominently the Atlanta Dream against Dream owner Kelly Loeffler encouraging Georgia voters to support Rev. Raphael Warnock he was 4th in the polls. They did something incredible and helped bolster the efforts of grassroots organizers in the field in Georgia. In terms of social change and justice in sports, the WNBA has always been at the forefront. And they also the sport is just incredible. I have a lot of thoughts but unfortunately the only WNBA player in this rankdown is Arike Ogunbowale so hopefully in a long time I'll get to talk about her. End Sidebar.

 

Now here's the thing. Derek Fisher in his two years as head coach of the LA Sparks has a winning record finishing 1st in the West and 3rd in the west in 2019 and 2020 respectively. However, the Sparks are one of the WNBAs most talented teams with both Ogwumike sisters, Chelsea Gray, and Candace Parker. In 2020 he got resurgent Brittany Sykes and got Riguna Williams to continue on her 2019 trend of scoring points. Candace Parker showed people that she showed no signs of aging and in addition to her team leading average of 14.7 points per game she was voted by media as Defensive Player of the Year. When you have a basketball team that is this good and talented you don't have to do much. Throw him on The Liberty or The Dream and we will see how good a coach he is. But despite all that talent. Two years in the playoffs they've been horribly embarrassed. And both years by the Connecticut Sun. 

 

In year 1 of his tenure in a must win game, he benched Candace Parker and Nneka Ogwumike AKA the two best players on the team for the ENTIRE fourth quarter. They ended up losing that game 56-78. And were out in the semifinals of the playoffs. In 2020 they were bounced in round 2 after losing 59-76. There is something deeply wrong with your coaching if your team is consistently dominant in the regular season and falls apart by huge margins in the post season. Because it's not that they lost, it's the way they lost. They weren't even competitive. 

 

After the 2019 season it was revealed that the LA Sparks essentially only looked at Derek Fisher for coach. In 2020 they promoted him to GM. They promoted him in a season where their three best players (Candace Parker, Nneka Ogwumike, and Chelsea Gray) are all free agents. Good luck. Let's see what he can do with a roster without all three of them. 

 

Here's some fun tweet quotes from people about Derek Fisher. 

 

"2 yrs ago the sparks had the deepest roster in the wnba hall of famers, mvps, dpoy, & star rookies & derek fisher couldn't win a playoff series"

 

"Derek Fisher is the best head coach in the WNBA tbh. Who’s doing it like him?

ⓘ 𝗢𝗳𝗳𝗶𝗰𝗶𝗮𝗹 𝘀𝗼𝘂𝗿𝗰𝗲𝘀 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗶𝘀 𝗳𝗮𝗹𝘀𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗺𝗶𝘀𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴"

 

"1. Cheryl Reeve ...... 12. Derek Fisher"

 

"Remember when Derek Fisher benched her during an elimination game of the WNBA finals.... "

 

"I think the #Sparks front office is left with a clear choice: you can have Candace Parker or you can have Derek Fisher but you can't have them both. "

 

"Derek Fisher had his second chance and he needs to be fired. This performance was beyond embarrassing and LA had a problem all season long not playing through their best players enough. #WNBA"

 

"I wonder if the Sparks will finally sack Derek Fisher now. Dude's in over his head. A waste of those players' talents having them play under an incompetent coach. #WNBA #lasparks"

 

Anyway, the list goes on. This probably does not explain why I hate Derek Fisher so much but it just burns me so deep in my soul that this mediocre man keeps failing to more power in the WNBA. Under him I know that the Sparks will never be able to compete in the postseason. And Candace Parker has worked too hard for too long to just keep getting freaked over by shit like this (please attend my next article on why Geno Auriemma sucks balls for essentially kicking CP off the US Women's Basketball team for not being a Nike Athlete and playing college at Tennessee). I just want the best always for Candace Parker and I hope that 2021 sees her free from Derek Fisher's mediocrity. And I hope Chelsea Gray and the Ogwumike sisters follow. 

 

Also Derek Fisher is like "LOL I totally can be GM I know all about CBAs from when I was President of the NBA players union" well Derek Fisher in his role deeply freaked over other NBA players during his tenure there so he is just an awful person. And also probably a loan shark. 

DEREK FISHER IS OUT OF THE JOB. HE WILL BE PARTING WAYS WITH THE LA SPARKS. THE OGWUMIKES CAN STOP SUFFERING UNDER THIS MAN'S INABILITY TO COACH A BASKETBALL GAME

 

me right now:

Game 3 Applause GIF by WNBA

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8 hours ago, *Lily said:

I see Macy Gray went on P**rs M**gan’s talk show and spewed some horribly transphobic comments so I guess we can’t have nice things

The same Macy Gray who said 9/11 kept her album from charting?

 

200.gif

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