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2019 Dancing with the Stars Rankdown


Alex95

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Keyshawn Johnson

 

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Oh look, I'm cutting another awful Sh*rna partner. Yay for that. Keyshawn is a football player, so naturally everyone expected him to be a good dancer and go far in the competition, given the track record of football players on this show. Luckily, that wasn't the case and he was the first boot of the season. Rightfully so, because he was an awful dancer. Week 1, he danced a Cha-Cha to "Treasure" that scored a 17. Week 2, he danced a Samba to "Get Up OFfa That Thing" that scored an 18. This equals out to a 17.5 average overall. He was the first eliminated of the season, being beaten by an even worse dancer in Bill Nye because Bill had the nostalgia factor going for him whereas Keyshawn had...nothing going for him. Him being the first boot of the season wasn't a huge loss though. It was just odd to see a football player who wasn't a somewhat decent dancer after what we had become accustom to after 16 seasons.

 

SAVING: Sean Lowe

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PAULA DEEN

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Paula Deen, best known for teaching you how to deep fry literally everything, was a part of the dreadful 21st season of Dancing With the Stars (aka the season where we somehow wound up with a final three of B*ndi, N*ck and Al*k) and was with Louis Van Amstel. This, naturally, occurred after the controversy where she talked about how she was fine using the N-word and put her baby in brown face for an I Love Lucy costume. On Dancing With the Stars, she placed ninth after scoring the lowest score three out of the six weeks. But again, everyone except the PenaVegas and Tamar was terrible that season, so she still managed to not actually rob anybody. O.o Oh well, out she goes here.

 

SAVE: Nick Lachey

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Shandi Finnessey, contestant on the 4th season of Dancing With The Stars. However, the real question is the following: Who is Shandi Finnessey? She's best known for being Miss USA in 2004 and co-hose of the game show, Lingo. Why did she went on DWTS? Most likely to try and stay relevant which she's still trying to accomplish - she appeared on a bunch of game shows, and a dating show called Ready for Love. Anyway, back to her time on DWTS: She was paired with Brian Fortuna (who?). They were eliminated during the 2nd week of competition where she was unable to be on the same level as the big personalities from that season, and the pros that were better dancers than her. Overall, their average was a 20 which is better than Billy Ray Cyrus, Leeza Gibbons, Clyde Dexter, and John Ratzenberger - they all outlasted her, and some of them are outlasting her in this rankdown because she's that forgettable.

SAVING: NICK VIALL
Edited by Star*Man
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