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Derek's Top 50 Reality TV Quotables


FrogLenzen
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Okay so I've been thinking about making this thread for a while. This isn't for anyone in particular, just something I did for fun. And also a kind of personal experiment since I started to try to keep track of the lines/quotes from reality TV shows that I say or quote often in real life. A lot of these are quotes that I just sort of say in my head every now and then in reaction to things... but some of them are lines that I say out loud in life, and often. Depending on the situation. 

 

I'll just post them one-by-one in a very loose order. I know that the very top ones will be the ones I say the most, but the rest are kind of random.

 

I rewatch ANTM and Drag Race and SYTYCD the most, so obviously the vast majority of the quotes will be from those shows. And of course, I quote a lot of things from other media like movies, music, scripted TV shows, etc. but this thread is just limited to the reality competition shows that I watch. 

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50. "F*ck my drag, right?"

- Kennedy Davenport

Fuck My Drag Right GIF - Fuck My Drag Right - Discover & Share GIFs

RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars

Season 3 Episode 3

 

Context in the episode: Shangela had just eliminated Thorgy, and Milk said that he would have saved Thorgy because Thorgy's drag was more exciting. Kennedy was the other one up for elimination, so she took this extremely personally, said the above, and ended up eliminating Milk at the end of the episode lmao

 

Derek's uses in life: This is one of the more famous quotes from the show so that means it has a gif I can include!!! Lauren (Mrs. Lenzen) and I definitely say this to each other a lot. Mostly in jest if our son or a cat/dog chooses one of us over the other

 

 

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49. "Kristy Lee Cook, omg I'm like blown away"

- Paula Abdul

Quotables 1

American Idol

Season 7, Top 7 Performance Episode

 

Context in the episode: It was Mariah Carey night and KLC had already overstayed her welcome. But actually this was my favorite performance from her, and it seemed that the judges agreed. Paula was in awe that Kristy actually delivered a decent performance, and for a Mariah Carey song of all things. It didn't stop KLC from getting eliminated immediately after this lol but it was good

 

Derek's uses in life: Well first of all, "Kristy Lee Cook" is actually a fun swear to use, like "Jesus H. Christ" but I don't really use that. Instead, when I'm surprised about something, this line from Paula Adbul will play in my head haha

 

 

Edited by FrogLenzen
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48. "Look how feisty I am"

- Jaja Vankova

QUOTABLE 2

So You Think You Can Dance

Season 12, Top 8 Performance Episode

 

Context in the episode: Jaja is a hip-hop dancer and she was rehearsing for a broadway duet by Al Blackstone. Ricky Ubeda, winner of Season 11 was her all star partner and they were playing a mobster married couple in jail. Al told Jaja that her character was "feisty." Jaja had been subtitled often throughout the season (to her chagrin lmao) and they pulled out the subtitles again to make fun of how she pronounced the word "feisty."  

 

Derek's uses in life: This is pretty much exclusively used for speaking to my cat. My cat feels "feissy" very often and I tell him all the time with the help of Jaja's pronunciation 

 

 

Edited by FrogLenzen
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47. "YOU'RE F*CKING CRAZY!"

- Lauren Utter

quotable 3

America's Next Top Model

Cycle 10, Episode 6

 

Context in the episode: In Cycle 10, Dominique had a unique ability to really get under peoples' skin. It wasn't always clear why lol. Sure, Dominique was delusional but I never understood why the other contestants freaked out on her to such a degree. In this episode, Dominique and Claire got in a fight about Dominique having her wake-up alarm on too long or something. Dominique didn't want to be called a "b*tch" and Lauren got involved and Dominique told Lauren to stay in her place because Lauren wasn't even part of the argument, and then Whitney got involved and there was a pile on. Dominique acted unbothered when Lauren was berating her so then Lauren yells the line above. And Dominique continued to be unbothered lol queen

 

Derek's uses in life: Well, I married a Lauren so maybe that's why this line sticks out to me? haha. The use in life is obvious. When someone is acting f*cking crazy, this is what plays in my head. I try not to yell this in real life, of course. It's mostly things I read on the internet (cough IDF cough) that get me this heated

 

This random recap video has the fight at 4:45

 

Edited by FrogLenzen
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46. "It's... a piece of fabric."

- Michelle Visage

It's a piece of fabric Blank Template - Imgflip

RuPaul's Drag Race

Season 8, Episode 6

 

Context in the episode: The queen had to construct their own garments from scratch based on a Wizard of Oz theme. Derrick Barry made a sad dress inspired by the tin man. Derrick goes "I'm not a seamstress but I did sew everything on here" and Michelle says this. The way she says this makes me die laughing every time. I mean, she's not wrong Derrick just basically wrapped a piece of silver shear fabric around her waist and that was it. The outfit was awful.

 

Derek's use in life: I don't always say "a piece of fabric" but there's often times when I say "it's....." inspired by Michelle and then finish with whatever it is I'm referring to. I also have to shout-out to Derrick Barry in the untucked for this episode where he says "everywhere you look there's a hem" which is a harder quote to find context to use in real life, but believe me I try to make it work wherever I can hahahaha

 

 

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45. "How did you do that?!"

- Carrie Ann Inaba

quotables paso

Dancing with the Stars

Season 10, Week 8

 

Context in the episode: I don't think it's a secret that Nicole is probably my favorite DWTS contestant and her 1950s Paso Doble remains my favorite DWTS routine. It just really blew my mind. You wouldn't think that a 50s paso doble would even be possible, let alone interesting to watch. And it was just beyond perfect. And the judges agreed and gave it the perfect score it deserved. Carrie Ann's reaction to this dance is iconic to me. At first she's just laughing and says "I don't even know what to say" and then the quote above. 

 

Derek's use in life: I don't know if I use "I don't even know what to say" or "how did you do that" more... I use them both a lot and usually in sequence like in the episode. 

 

 

Edited by FrogLenzen
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44. "...Back rolls?"

- Alyssa Edwards

Backrolls GIFs - Get the best GIF on GIPHY

RuPaul's Drag Race Untucked

Season 5, Episode 5

 

Context in the episode: Alyssa's feud with Coco was more prominent in the season, but her feud was Jade produced one of the most iconic lines in the history of the show. Jade and Alyssa are backstage waiting for judges to make their decision, and they get into a fight. Alyssa doesn't think that Jade is on her level. And Jade doesn't just sit there and take it. Alyssa comes for Jade's make-up and fashion, and Jade comes for... Alyssa's body. Says the shoulders should match the hips bit they don't. That there were rolls all in the back. Not cute to body shame people but Alyssa's reaction in the interview (seen above) is ICONIC.

 

Derek's use in life: This is another one that Lauren and I both use a lot. If anyone says the word "back" or the word "roll" then you have to say this quote. It's mandatory. Actually, even if you say any word that rhymes with "back" or "roll." Actually, even if no one said anything and you just get the urge you can say this line for any reason

 

 

Edited by FrogLenzen
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43. "Lower the cup away from your face"

- Yu Tsai

quotables ava

America's Next Top Model

Cycle 22, Episode 9

 

Context in the episode: This might be another obscure one. But this moment from Cycle 22 has become a meme in my household and imo this is one of the most unintentionally funny moments ever on the show. Yu Tsai was normally the creative director for all photoshoots this season, but in this episode he was also the photographer. The photoshoot was to pose with a dog. Yu Tsai was trying to take a picture of Ava with the chihuahua. She was supposed to look fancy and high class with the teacup. But she kept holding the cup literally in front of her face. Yu Tsai tells her repeatedly to lower the cup away from her face and she just sits there and is like "right" and keeps the cup in front of her face. Over and over again. It makes me cackle every time

 

Derek's use in life: Every now and then when we are having meals in my house, you must tell your spouse to lower the cup away from their face. Then the other person must be sure to hold their cup firmly in front of their face. And repeat. LMAO don't judge us we have fun

 

This has crazy audio and mirrored video but Ava and the teacup is around 19:30

 

Edited by FrogLenzen
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42. "It was ridiculous. It was ridiculous!"

- Dan Karaty

Hw3q8dR.png

So You Think You Can Dance

Season 1, Episode 3

 

Context in the episode: Season 1 callbacks episode might be my favorite episode of trashy early 00s reality television out there. It's just so good. And so unique to this season, since they did callbacks differently after this. There are 5 choreographers and they each spend a day with a group of the dancers who got a callback after auditions. Then the choreographers all rank the contestants at the end of the day. When Burgendy was in Dan's room, she pretended to injure herself because she couldn't remember the choreography. Then she starts doing splits everywhere for a freestyle section. Dan saw right through her act and was not amused. "It was ridiculous. It was ridiculous! ...You're dead last today, Burgendy. Dead last." Burgendy was wild this whole episode and she obviously did not make the finals lol

 

Derek's use in life: This is one that I started using back in the day and at first I couldn't remember where I knew it from. I was like.... who says ridiculous like this??? Why am I always saying ridiculous like this??? Then I finally rewatched SYTYCD S1 again and was like THIS IS WHERE IT IS FROM. I will often add the "you're dead last today, Burdendy" part of the quote if I can make it fit

 

Burgendy in Dan's room starts at around 25:35

 

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41. "Potato. POTATO! F*cking potato head." 

- Gordon Ramsey

quotable gordon

MasterChef

Season 9, Episode 8

 

Context in the episode: It's a team challenge, per usual, and for some reason Matt is having a hard time keeping everything together and organized. He keeps forgetting the potato element on the dish and it is hilarious. Gordon yells at him from the sidelines, Gordon yells at him while trying to demonstrate to the team how to cook things. Gordon has a special talent for yelling. 

 

Derek's use in life: Gordon has many many many clips of him yelling things at people and making creative insults. For whatever reason, this random potato yelling really stuck with me more than all the others and I don't know why. It's just so simple and stupid and funny. Potato head!!!! Lauren and I still say this to each other. POE-TAY-TOE

 

 

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“Pretty much I would let Gemma know that she is a fat c*nt and, um the shoes that she gave me were not something that I would particularly buy for myself. They were old maiden type of shoes, and she said that those shoes were meant to be worn on a beautiful woman so if that is the case she should have put them back on the rack and she should never even purchased them because she was UNQUALIFIED to own those shoes if that's the case and, um I think that Gemma is just a disgrace. She's a disgrace to women who are actually beautiful and classy and, um she just doesn't have the vernacular she thinks she possesses. Somebody lied to her several times and told her that she was fly, hot and sexy and beautiful and she's nothing like that. She's nothing of the sort.”

Edited by Alex95
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On 11/13/2022 at 11:59 AM, Alex95 said:

“Pretty much I would let Gemma know that she is a fat c*nt and, um the shoes that she gave me were not something that I would particularly buy for myself. They were old maiden type of shoes, and she said that those shoes were meant to be worn on a beautiful woman so if that is the case she should have put them back on the rack and she should never even purchased them because she was UNQUALIFIED to own those shoes if that's the case and, um I think that Gemma is just a disgrace. She's a disgrace to women who are actually beautiful and classy and, um she just doesn't have the vernacular she thinks she possesses. Somebody lied to her several times and told her that she was fly, hot and sexy and beautiful and she's nothing like that. She's nothing of the sort.”

I am imagining someone cutting you in line at Kroger and you just go off on this full rant at them

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40. "I'm feeling entertained... amused..."

- Mariah Paris Balenciaga

RnDUCwv.png

RuPaul's Drag Race

Season 3, Episode 6

 

Full quote: "I'm feeling entertained... amused... The judges are interesting. Their judgment was interesting. I came for a competition. At the end of the day, you play the game, and then go. It's gonna be hell getting the bags back home."

 

Context in the episode: Mariah was in the bottom 2 after Snatch Game. She had to lip sync against Delta Work and lost. She was eliminated. No one really disputes that Mariah deserved to be in the bottom for Snatch Game and no one really disputes that she lost the lip sync. But she was iconic, a big name in the ballroom scene, and it was sad to see her go. But of course she couldn't exit without leaving us with one last iconic quote. 

 

Derek's use in life: As someone who frequently spends time in front of actual court judges and has lost my fair share of motions, the quote "the judges are interesting / their judgment was interesting" holds a special place in my heart. Feeling entertained and amused is very often how I report back about the results of my hearings lmao. This quote also got some use in my head while playing the ANTM Reloaded games when y'all would eliminate my models for no reason, smh

 

 

Edited by FrogLenzen
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39. "I disagree. I disagree."

- Lil Mama

iUfQtGf.png

America's Best Dance Crew

Season 2, Top 3 Performance Episode

 

Context in the episode: It was the Top 3 of Season 2 and Fanny Pak was somehow the underdog crew and seemed to have trouble picking up votes from the public despite the fact that their dancing, choreography, concepts, performances, and literally everything was better than the competition. Fanny Pak's time was finally up when they were in the bottom 2 against Super Crew, the eventual winner of the season. An all male bboy crew with power moves. Yawn. jk I actually like Super Crew a lot but they still didn't compare to Fanny Pak. And none of that matters because stupid SoReal Cru should have been the ones in the bottom but SoReal Cru was inexplicably safe because of the voting. And JC called out SoReal Cru big time while critiquing the bottom 2 crews. "If you think that SoReal Cru out-danced these two crews tonight... I don't buy it." SOME OF THE TRUEST WORDS EVER SPOKEN ON REALITY TV BY A JUDGE. And yet Lil Mama had the audacity to interject that she disagreed with that. Girl what? Are you sleeping? Are you insane?

 

Derek's use in life: This is another quote that I use kind of involuntarily lol. Maybe this quote and the way Lil Mama says it stands out in my head so strongly because of how flabbergasted I was when I heard her say it. It still makes no sense to me why she would dispute something so blatantly obvious said by JC. Anyway, whenever I need to say the phrase "I disagree" it is always in the way Lil Mama said it here for some reason

 

JC spits the hot fire at around 6:35, but this video also has the great performances

 

Edited by FrogLenzen
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38. "It's perfect."

- Billy Bell

BsolgaY.png

So You Think You Can Dance

Season 7, Episode 10

 

Context in the episode: Billy made the Top 20 in Season 6 with Kathryn but had to withdraw because he got mono or something. He returned for Season 7 and made the live shows again. This time, Kathryn was an All Star. So when they got paired up in Season 7 it was a little reunion, and the video package before their routine was light and fun and has this quote. And the routine was the legendary Jar of Hearts routine which literally launched Christina Perri's career. 

 

Derek's use in real life: Duh, whenever I need to say that something is perfect, I say it just like Billy Bell here. Not a lot of layers to this one lol. But honestly I should put this a bit higher than #38 because I do say this a lot in life

 

 

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37. "Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. You're stupid. Lemme spell it out: S-T-U-P-I-D. Stupid... Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid."

- Aminat Ayinde

HrrVPAN.png

America's Next Top Model

Cycle 12, Episode 6

 

Context in the episode: After Celia iconically interrupted Tyra for the elimination in episode 5 ("take your place, Celia" is something that I really should start saying more lololol), tensions were high in the house. In this episode, somehow the feud between Tahlia and Celia turned into an ICONIC fight between Aminat and Natalie. Don't go interrupting girls while they are in the middle of arguments in the house! A lesson that we hope is never learned because it makes for great TV. 

 

Derek's use in life: Yeah Allison is my all-time favorite but none of her quotes make my Top 50, and instead we have Aminat here from Cycle 12 slaying. People give credit to Aminat for being a good physical model and good runway walker, but she needs more credit for being an absolutely entertaining reality show character as well. STUPID. STUPID. STUPID. It's very easy to get carried away when quoting this lololol

 

 

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