totes4totes

me @ albus dumbledore a headmaster of a prestgious wizarding school: hello albus. i am a dr. what are your qualifications. abusing children? do you even know what a cell is???????????????????????? why did you leave harry potter with abusive muggles who let him live under a staircase????????????????????????????????????????? couldn't find a squib family or something? that lady with all the cats literally lived right next door for his like entire life.

me beating harry potter: "to solve the puzzle that opens this door you must graph a parabola" harry potter: *quits life. more than he already has* me beating ron weasley: "here ron. this is a graphic calculator. tell me how to use it." ron weasley: *is a ghost because he should have died* me beating hermione: "don't you wish that you hadn't had to erase the memory of your parents and not be stuck with a man who isn't even ambitious enough to not be a sidekick for the rest of his life living in another man's shadow for eternity"

Kaitlyn's career on the Bachelor was "Dance Instructor." Kaitlyn went to school for dance. Her mother was a ballerina.

i am like kristen stewart, gay except for robert pattinson

OH. I was going to go as the trolly lady. Until I learned that the titular cursed child was the spawn of VOLDEMORT AND BELLATRIX. WHEN WAS SHE PREGNANT????? WHEN DID SHE GIVE BIRTH???????????????

I'm going to read all these. But I'm just going to start out with my hottest takes: 1) I would never want to be a wizard because the tradeoff of internet and electricity for magic is stupid. Sorry. I'd rather know how a light bulb works than think I stick it in cake or whatever. 2) Most wizards don't live in like exclusive Wizard places. They are surrounded by muggles. So it doesn't make sense that they wouldn't know how muggles work. Imagine walking down the street with your parents and they are like "oh those are the neighbors who don't understand how the mail works honey. and also i've never seen them ever turn the lights on in your house" 3) the Wizard economy is unstable. What kinds of jobs do they have. Their money is in circulation just amongst their wizard towns. How do they buy groceries. How can they get human money without learning math. Harry Potter could not get an American GED with the education he got from Hogwarts. 4) JK Rowling invented an entire race that's like "oh no we are happy to be slaves " 5) Ron sucks (for an essay on this. Please see my future essay. "Ron Sucks and should have died" 6) Harry should have died. 7) "Cho Chang" 8. Robert Pattinson as Cedric Diggory was the single most attractive person to like. 14 year old me. Or whenever that movie came out. 9) "The Slytherins aren't inherently evil. It's just coincidence that all the racist and fascist wizards went to that house. And that one of the fundamental pillars of being a Slytherin is racism. " 10) Wizards can probably cure all sorts of human diseases. And yet. They let muggles suffer???????????? They can regrow broken bones in like 12 minutes. And yet. I had to wear a cast for a broken arm for like a month??????????????????? 11) In sum. Witches and Wizards are probably assholes?????? 12) Hogwarts has like 12 students/year in each house (48 students) * 7 is just under 350. There are only 350 magical children in all the UK??????????????????????????????????????????????????????

i hate harry potter so much i helped throw a harry potter themed party and decided to attend as pregnant bellatrix lestrange.

derek. you don't know what kind of can of worms you opened by tagging me here.

can't wait to give the full oral history of when my high school did beauty and the beast and how i was like. unable to watch beauty and the beast for like 8 years.

so that's the "original song" from the beauty and the beast musical because the beast needed a big musical moment. and the guy who played beast in my high school. kept pronouncing "can't" as well. "c-unt" and didn't understand how to not sing it that way.

me when hawaiian roller coaster ride is cut in the song rankdown:

disney songs would be very high stress because i would murder when dee cuts "beauty and the beast"

1) these are two separate rankdowns with half of like different people 2) the old idf ate all the song challenges 3) i submitted my songs before the posts got posted again. i think it's a STUPID reason. "oh no. this song is too popular. 0/1000"

Bea Arthur would have been fantastic as Ursula and I am so sad that like she and Howard Ashman are dead so I will never know why she turned down the role: ETA: fun fact, the movie version of Mame had such a poor reception that Lucille Ball swore off movies forever and Bea Arthur called it an embarrassment. (She had fun acting with Lucille Ball, but Lucille Ball was a HUGE miscast). This is still a fun scene though. And unfortunately we will never get to see the original Broadway performance with Angela Lansbury in the lead role.

I SHOULD NOT BE PENALIZED FOR A RANKDOWN I DID NOT PARTICIPATE IN!!!!!!!!!!

if they actually got bea arthur to voice ursula she would have been in my top 10 lol. or elaine stritch who got so close but they had a "disagreement" on "poor unfortunate souls" and i want to KNOW WHAT THAT WAS. because this is one of my favorite vocal performances ever.

it will be worth it if i can singlehandedly prevent genie from winning with my #21 ranking.

actually in all seriousness, the like only biopics I like are La Vie en Rose and The Diving Bell and the Butterfly (the latter of which is on of my favorite films of all time for reasons I cannot really explain!)

i actually like old french movies. which i watch with a really long cigarette holder in my hand with a beret on both me and my cat

i will get noms in after i get home from work. so ~~~~5 or so hours.

lol i didn't even cut or nominate that many villains.

no she def is. because kaitlyn has a background in dance. as she used to be a dancer.

apparently me and my anti-villain agenda killed them all. rip.

all these votes for poor unfortunate souls. and yet. i didn't even make the top 3 the last disney song challenge

LOL. I was painting the WORST CASE SCENARIO for myself. I'm just saying it's not a guarantee!