Jump to content

Andy ranks The White Lotus characters


#jeah
 Share

Recommended Posts

*queue indigenous twerking music*

 

Welcome-to-the-white-lotus GIFs - Get the best GIF on GIPHY

 

White-lotus GIFs - Get the best GIF on GIPHY

 

The White Lotus' Guide to Vacationing Like a Rich, Entitled Douchebag

 

White Lotus White Lotus Season2 GIF - White Lotus White Lotus Season2 White  Lotus Sicily - Discover & Share GIFs

 

golden, like daylight — thesoldiersminute: THE WHITE LOTUS Season 2 |...

 

White Lotus' Misery Index: Season 2, Episode 1

 

The White Lotus” (HBO) - GoldDerby - Page 15

 

 

HI!! So with Season 2 of the brilliant anthology series The White Lotus coming to a close, I have been obsessed with this show since the first season aired last year. With the second round being just as good (or even better) than the first, I want to appease my obsession by doing a character analysis and ranking of all of the main characters of the first two seasons. I'll definitely be combining them and I honestly don't know who I'm going to rank #1 yet. Going to be working on this the next couple of days and hopefully I'll have my list solidified and can start later on this week! So pack your suitcases, check them for poop, and join me as I get to talk about my favorite show!! 😄 

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Okay these are the characters that will be ranked. Only going to do "main" cast members from either season:

 

Armond (Season 1) played by Murray Bartlett

Tanya McQuoid (Season 1 & 2) played by Jennifer Coolidge

Greg (Seasons 1 & 2) played by Jon Gries

Nicole Massbacher (Season 1) played by Connie Britton

Mark Mossbacher (Season 1) played by Steve Zahn

Olivia Mossbacher (Season 1) played by Sydney Sweeney

Quinn Mossbacher (Season 1) played by Fred Hechinger

Paula (Season 1) played by Brittany O'Grady

Rachel Patton (Season 1) played by Alexandra Daddario

Shane Patton (Season 1) played by Jake Lacy

Kitty Patton (Season 1) played by Molly Shannon

Belinda Lindsey (Season 1) played by Natasha Rothwell

 

Bert Di Grasso (Season 2) played by F. Murray Abraham

Albie Di Grasso (Season 2) played by Adam DiMarco

Dominic Di Grasso (Season 2) played by Michael Imperioli

Daphne Sullivan (Season 2) played by Meghann Fahy

Cameron Sullivan (Season 2) played by Theo James

Harper Spiller (Season 2) played by Aubrey Plaza

Ethan Spiller (Season 2) played by Will Sharpe

Lucia Greco (Season 2) played by Simona Tabasco

Mia (Season 2) played by Beatrice Grannò

Portia (Season 2) played by Haley Lu Richardson

Jack (Season 2) played by Leo Woodall

Quentin (Season 2) played by Tom Hollander

Valentina (Season 2) played by Sabrina Impacciatore

 

So that gives us a very appealing 25 characters to rank between the two seasons. I'm not including more minor characters (shoutout to Kai from S1 and Isabella from S2, both of whom I enjoyed more than my least favorites from the 25).

 

I haven't figured out the rankings just yet but I will basically be scoring them based on certain criteria. It will be something like rootability/likability of the character + humor/entertainment they added to the show + complexity of their story arc + acting performance to provide an overall score.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Just now, #jeah said:

Lmao! It's funny I clocked Kara the first time I watched that episode but totally missed Queengelina until the second watch. She disappeared into the role!!!

That's funny because while I figured them both out I noticed Angelina first and then took at second look at Kara and was like oh yeah that's Kara.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

25. Greg (Seasons 1 and 2)

 

The White Lotus' Universe Gets A Supervillain: The Greg Conspiracy

 

 

Portrayed by Jon Gries

 

Likability/Rootability - 0/10

Humor/Entertainment Value - 0/10

Character Complexity - 5/10

Acting Performance - 7/10

 

TOTAL SCORE: 12/40

 

Favorite moment or quote: None

 

Greg is so terrible that I couldn't even find a gif of him to use here. :dead: My score for him is probably a bit on the harsh side, like a 0/10 on the entertainment scale is probably not true but I just hate him so much after the finale that I don't even care. He is by far the lowest scoring character out of the 25 that I ranked. Why do I dislike Greg so much? If I had done some sort of character analysis after the first season, I wouldn't have had nearly as much of a vendetta against him as I do now. 

 

The irony with Greg is that the writing was all over the wall with him in the first season. I mean looking back, the clues that he was out to screw Tanya over are apparent. When we first meet Greg, he is trying to open the door to Tanya's hotel room and he plays it off as an accident- he mistakenly had the wrong room. Well how convenient, now he can mention how he's divorced, at the resort alone, and wants to spend time with Tanya. Well being the sweet, naive, clingy, codependent person that Tanya is, she latches onto him for dear life. Greg puts up with Tanya's antics and by the end of the first season they are going on a second vacation together.

 

Fastforward to season two and they are f*cking married!! Greg is a lot more grouchy and impatient with Tanya and he insists that it was her idea that they go to Sicily and manipulates Tanya into believing this narrative (classic gaslighting tactic). He then sets her up to be murdered because in her prenup, she agrees that if she passes he inherits her fortune. The writer does a great job in creating suspicion in the first episode, and then having us think Greg is just leaving Sicily for an affair as the season goes on. The real gag is when we find out that Greg is just a gay, living a double life, who has his lover (this is assumed by me) Quentin do the dirty work for him. A con man and a coward.

 

SO basically I am ranking Greg last because he is a scumbag of a human being who tried to f*ck over our messy queen heroine. Greg didn't provide any entertainment value at all, any funny bits that happened while he was onscreen were because of Tanya really. The funniest thing I can think of is when she knocks Greg onto the floor while they're having sex after she has a scary hallucination. Watching his gross wrinkly body fall onto the floor is an entertaining enough sight, I guess. Jon Gries does a great job playing a sinister, duplicitous character disguised as an (initially) sweet, sick old man. He definitely plays Tanya, and for that he gets no love from me.

 

Greg was definitely a master scammer and the signs were all there leading up to it. Seeing him upset that Portia went on vacation with them was another clue that he had something sinister planned in Sicily, in hindsight. The clues were all over the place. His coughing mysteriously disappeared, the phone conversation where he called her clueless as usual, etc. There isn't a whole lot of complexity to his character, besides the whole Greg being a scammer of it all. All of this becomes clear by the end of the season, but the show doesn't really provide any depth to Greg's character enough since he is offscreen after the first couple of episodes. We don't see WHY he does the things he does or really see his perspective of anything, unlike the majority of the rest of the characters. For that lack of complexity plus me just generally hating him and what he did, Greg takes an easy last place in my ranking.

Edited by #jeah
  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 minutes ago, Solaris said:

this is a fine 25th place.  I understand Olivia being 24th instead. 

WOMEN — Sydney Sweeney as Olivia - 01x01 -The White...

 

3 minutes ago, ~Tom~ said:

Addicted. :giggle: But can’t wait to follow this after I’ve watched S2!

You should avoid this for spoilers if you haven't watched it. :haha: 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share

×
×
  • Create New...