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Reality Champion Rankdown


Solaris
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Wow perfect write-up on Rachael Kirkconnell there, Chris! You explained and said it all perfectly regarding her. It's kinda disappointing how Matt went back to her considering all of the race related drama. But I wish them well and hope Rachael has grown and learn from her past, or that she'll do so.

 

Lol Akshar wasn't kidding for his dislike of Todd Tilghman. :dead: I wouldn't have gotten him out this soon, but he's kinda boring and not too memorable amongst most of The Voice winners although I still like him more than a few winners from that show though. :haha: 

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Dick Donato

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If there's one thing Big Brother is gonna do is cast the dregs of society and place them on our television for three months of ~summer fun~. More often than not, these shit stains of society go on to win the show. I'm gonna assume a lot of this bottom 100 will be filled with Big Brother houseguests and it won't be undeserving. The three year span of Boogie, Dick, and Adam winning is truly a low point when it comes to reality show winners (yes I excluded Maggie from this list because on a good day I can ironically stan her, sue me 💅). As part of Big Brother's twist for the season they placed enemies in the house together. You got Jessica & Carol, who were friends then got in a fight in middle school or something inconsequential like that. You had ex-boyfriends Dustin & Joe who broke up when Joe "SOMEHOW IMMACULATELY CONCEIVED GONORRHEA" and lol they were actually iconic. Then you have Dick & Daniele, an estranged father and daughter duo who haven't talked in years. Cause you know when you sign up to do a silly reality show you really want your familial trauma to be thrown in your face ^_^. So Big Brother 8 was all about Dick's ~redemption storyline~. A touching story about a father who will do anything for his daughter and tries to do everything he can do to win her back over. It was manipulative and tacky and disgusting. But of course the general audience was completely charmed by this storyline and won over. So somehow he becomes the fan favorite.

That's not what his story truly is though. The true story of "Evel Dick" is that he stormed around the house torturing the other houseguests for three months straight. Some of it was strategy. When he and Daniele were in trouble, he would make himself public enemy number one so the other houseguests would evict him over her. However, he crossed many lines whilst utilizing this "strategy". Between spewing homophobic insults to Dustin, sexist comments to the women, attacking Amber's looks, attacking Jameka's religion, etc. He was a vile and bigoted old man. Yet the general public continued to cheer him on for "doing it for his daughter". Now let's talk about Jen. Someone who took Dick's abuse 24/7 and it was never strategic at all. Jen Johnson committed the cardinal sin of being vain and self-centered. She was not the easiest houseguest in the world to live with (❤️) but nothing she did warranted his actions towards her. He poured ice tea over her head, he burnt her with his lit cigarette, he threatened to rape and murder her. He didn't let her get a second of peace in that house. No warnings from production. No expulsion. Instead he got a fan favorite edit because he loved his daughter.

You may wonder how someone like this may win a social strategy game? I'll tell you. Riggage. Yes that was the season with the infamous America's Player twist. Eric Stein was forced to do America's bidding instead of playing his own game. He had to actively tank his own game and ruin his relationships to jump through hoops and save Dick whenever America told him to. If it wasn't for America's Player, Dick goes him in 9th place, no questions asked. But America enjoyed watching him so Eric had to flip the votes to save him. If not for America's Player, Daniele would've gone at 7 and Dick surely would've followed her out the door soon after. However, America "didn't have enough time to vote" on whether or not Eric was allowed to use his veto to backdoor Daniele so production wouldn't allow him to use it. Evel Dick pretended like he played some top tier strategic game, but he got played by Eric really early on when Eric tricked Dick into taking Nick out and Dick's game never would've recovered if not for America's Player. Dick also cheated to get to the win. In the final HOH competition after getting the first question right over Zach, he used the mirrors in the house to copy Zach's answers for the rest of the comp. Dick would always answer after Zach and his answers would always match Zach's, right or wrong. Evel Dick is one of the worst Big Brother winners ever from a purely game point-of-view because he would've been evicted multiple times if not for riggage. Hell I still consider him the all-time worst Big Brother winner ever. And that's ignoring everything about his godawful personality.

You may be wondering how things are doing for this lovable dad and daughter? She cut him off again shortly after the season because he was a terrible father and is a terrible human being. They briefly reunited when they returned to BB13 together, but he quit the game very quickly after being diagnosed with HIV and she never really spoke to him again, rightfully. I have my issues with Daniele, but what she went through having that man as a father and then having to be locked in a house with him for 90+ days after cutting him off...just my heart breaks for her. F*ck Evel Dick, f*ck Big Brother giving him a platform, f*ck Big Brother giving him a generous edit, f*ck Big Brother fans for constantly saving him when his ass should've been evicted. He's just awful all around and I'm glad to cut him here.

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Melissa Juratowitch

 

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I was torn between cutting someone awful and someone I don't know.  I decided to yet again go with someone I didn't know.  This time it just so happens to be Australia's Next Top Model season 8 winner Melissa Juratowitch.  How did I choose who to eliminate?  I looked through the Australian Top Model photos and picked the model that was one that I thought had it the least.  Melissa is very fresh faced, and looks incredibly young.  Looking now she was 16 years old when she won the season, does that make her the youngest Top Model winner ever?  Either way her photos are nice, I don't find them particularily striking though.  She won in the bottom 2 3 times throughout the season and had First call out twice in a row near the middle of the competition.  She would eventually defeat runner-up Shanali Martin who had a better track record with mor FCO and less bottom 2 appearances.  Here are some of Melissa's Top Model photos.

 

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Michael Wray

 

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Once again, I didn't know who to cut whether it be someone I dislike or someone I didn't know. I cut someone I dislike last night so now I'll cut someone I don't know. I will likely alternate with this process. That person will be my cut tonight is Michael Wray. Michael Wray is the winner of the 1st season of Hell's Kitchen. Michael's occupation is a professional chef and he is from Fort Collins, Colorado.  


I'll be honest and admit that I never watched an episode of Hell's Kitchen. I know my father likes more of those cooking reality shows but I just never got into them. Michael must have been a really good cook and made some good dishes of food, considering he won the show. Some stats he achieved included winning 4 challenges, winning 5 services and had one time being announcer/BoW (whatever that means, lmao). 


As a prize, he had the opportunity to move to London and work with Gordon Ramsay to be his mentor, but Michael declined the offer - but he still took the $250,000 and the winner's title. Hopefully this is a safe cut as I don't know who watches this show here.  
 

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Bobby Bones
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Oh joy I have to think about how Bobby Bones beat Milo and Evanna again and now I lost my dinner. Dancing With The Stars is famous for casting trash Human beings that last far too long on their show it is even more unfortunate when they win. It doesn't make sense to me even now. I mean it's not like Bobby was likeable at all?? And his partner Sharna??? Most unlikable insufferable pro and yet they won???? Why?? I will never understand. The judges giving them good scores for trying definitely didn't help. Bobby spent the season trashing other contestants on his podcast and still won. It's ridiculous and I need him gone at this point

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1 minute ago, *Diana said:

@*Wallacewrites more on people he doesn't know than I ever do on people I do :wub:

Lmaoo truth!:dead: 

 

 

Lol Bobby Bones is probably thankful to have this game as he lasted longer here than in DWTS rankdowns. :dead: 

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Nick Lazzarini (So You Think You Can Dance - US Season 1)

Nick Lazzarini wows young dancers in Huntington – Orange County Register

 

Nick won the very first ever season of SYTYCD. He was a deserving winner. While Benji in Season 2 is the one that truly made SYTYCD into a permanent iconic television program, we have to give thanks to the OG season for starting the concept and doing well enough to not be immediately cancelled. I think Blake was probably the better male contemporary dancer in Season 1, but Blake had a bunch of drama before the live shows with his attitude and his extensive resume before coming onto the program, while Nick was squeaky clean and had a fun storyline of dancing with his BFF, Melody, who ended up being runner-up. Nick had a number of decent routines on the season, but the most iconic are probably the Broadway Jazz with Melody (Tyce's first routine) and his two disco numbers, with Melody and Kamilah. 

 

After winning the first season, hosted by Jeff Bezos's girlfriend, he returned to the show a couple times as an All Star. Once with blonde ballroom dancer Witney where he played a lounge singer, and once with blonde ballroom dancer Tanisha where he played a lounge singer. Nick was also one of the 4 lead stars as part of the All The Right Moves TV show, which was a reality program about Travis Wall getting his company off of the ground and started. Yes, I watched all of that and still have it on my computer. Nick and Emmy Winning SYTYCD Alumni/Choreographer Travis Wall were close friends before and after the show. They were in Travis's company, Shaping Sound, together and were also both faculty at the Break the Floor company. Also, apparently Nick got married at some point to a woman named Elizabeth? The specific details of Elizabeth are very mysterious and not well documented, but obviously I'm always keeping my ears open for news about "bisexual male contemporary dancer marries woman" 

 

https://www.cp24.com/world/major-north-american-dance-company-bred-culture-of-sex-silence-dancers-say-1.5868242

 

Earlier this year, a story broke about how certain faculty members at Break the Floor were accused of some serious sexual misconduct. Lots of stuff about instructors grooming students, often underage. Inappropriate comments during class. Meeting up after class. Texting. Touching. Travis Wall got a lot of heat for this since he is the most famous one. But honestly, Nick's stuff seemed to be worse. To quote the article:

 

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Stroming picked up Lazzarini at the height of his fame to join the convention circuit, teaching hundreds of thousands of aspiring young dancers. In 2019, Stroming quietly fired him after he posted, then quickly removed, a video of himself masturbating on Instagram, as the Star previously reported.

 

The Star's prior investigation uncovered allegations that Lazzarini had subjected at least six dancers to unwanted sexual advances at Break The Floor events. Three of these dancers were under 18. One said Lazzarini groped him through a hole in his pants. Another said Lazzarini texted her a nude selfie when she was 16. A third said he and Lazzarini exchanged nude photos when he was 17.

 

 

Look at Nick go, messing with kids' lives, f*cking up his reputation, making the world a worse place, giving Florida politicians something to talk about, etc. Literally grooming children. Using the dance industry as his hunting grounds. Getting kids into private spaces where it's his job to look at their bodies, make comments and corrections, possibly touching them... and he was on TV and the students probably look up to him. He was part of a company and probably had a say in who got hired. Nick had power and influence in these spaces. People trusted him. And this is what he did with it. Making the dance industry look bad. Making men look bad. Making queer people look bad. Bad bad bad bad bad bye

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When I saw Nick Lazzarini get cut, I was REALLY shocked seeing him cut so soon. :shock: But then reading Derek's write-up and ahh wow, yikes... lots of stuff I did not know about Nick there. Ugh really upsetting and disappointing to learn from him as I did really like him on his season. :( 

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OLIVIA & KOREY

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Olivia & Korey somehow won the third season of Love Island USA despite obviously being a fake couple just to stay in the villa. Throughout the season, they individually struggled to find some kind of connection with another islander, but they kept barely surviving elimination. Towards the last couple of days of the season, they suddenly decided that they were into each other. They came up with a narrative how they were friends who ultimately fell for each other. I thought the audience would've seen through their scheme, but enough viewers ended up falling for it. Sure, there weren't great winner options from the Final 4 couples. Josh & Shannon probably would've won if Josh didn't have to go home after a family tragedy (Shannon chose to leave with him). And Cashay was the fan favorite of the season, and she and Cinco might've won if they weren't eliminated before the finale. The remaining couples were Olivia & Korey, Will & Kyra, Jeremy & Bailey, and Alana & Charlie. Jeremy jumped from girl to girl before ending up with new girl Bailey. And Alana & Charlie were too new to really be considered contenders. But Will & Kyra were actually a legitimate couple who were together since the start of the season. Even though Will ruined their chances of winning by kissing Flo at Casa Amor, Will & Kyra would've made more sense as the winning couple. Olivia & Korey were so awkward together with no chemistry, yet enough people voted for them to win. I guess it goes to show how manipulable the voting audience can be sometimes. Anyway, even without watching any of the Love Island seasons from the UK, I think Olivia & Korey are a fair choice to be the first Love Island winners eliminated from this game.

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Lmaoo perfect first cut for the Love Island U.S. cast there, Steven. :dead: I thought of cutting them at some point of the game as yeah they should be the first LIUS couple to go. I..... don't get how Olivia & Korey won that season as there was no chemistry at all between them... and yeah they came off as a fake couple to stay on the island. :dead: All perfectly said.

 

Shannon & Josh definitely would have won, but sadly Josh had a sad and heartbreaking family matter to attend to. :(  Will & Kyra could/probably should have won but yeah Will messed that up / the editing bussed them hard while propping up Olivia & Korey on the final week of the show. It was all so annoying, lol.

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Brian Heidik

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(couldn't find a mugshot bc I would have used that instead)

Before I forget, let's take him out so he ranks near the bottom of the barrel for Survivor. He comes from what is probably the worst early season of Survivor (the only one that comes close for that title is All Stars). Anyway, he was a somewhat strong strategic player, but was utterly unlikeable and his own paranoia made the endgame harder for him since he just betrayed people on bouts of paranoia (putting this in bc apparently there is a small subsection of twitter that considers him a great player which is ???????? to me). The fact that 2 of the 4 people that voted him to win did it to vote against someone else speaks volume of how flawed his game was.

He decided that being bad tv and unlikeable wasn't enough apparently and decided to take stronger steps in being a piece of sh!t and shot a puppy with a bow and arrow. For what reason someone does this I don't know and I don't care to find out, he can go to the hellhole he came out of. At least it's highly unlikely he ever shows back up thru the show since production probably knows it's an awful move for them. Anyway, he can rot.

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Jim Davidson

Jim Davidson won the thirteenth series of Celebrity Big Brother UK. How? I have no idea because he has a long history of proven homophobia and alleged racism. It’s a shame when Luisa was right there to take the crown but oh well. What I do remember is Jim’s homophobia towards fellow Big Brother winner, Brian Dowling on Hells Kitchen. Jim constantly taunted Brian with stereotypes and used the term “shirt lifters” in front of him and the other contestants. I also remember him stating that gay stands for “good as you”. He deserves to be out early based on all the controversy that’s surrounded him over his entire career. I didn’t want to embed the video below because of the title but I think it’s worth watching if you think he’s even remotely tolerable.

 

 

 

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Aaron & Jonna

 

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Aaron & Jonna were on a show called Endurance, which I have never watched or heard of.  Endurance was shown on the Discovery Kids network and was a show similar to Survivor. Jonna was 13 when she competed. The show ran for six years and I had no clue. The winning team received a paid vacation package with their parents as the prize. Jonna was also on The Real World: Cancun and The Challenge. Aaron loves being outdoors, he enjoys fishing and hunting. He was 15 when he competed on the show. He does animal calls and makes Christmas ornaments out of fly fishing hooks.

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^ Ooooohhhhh, so that's what Endurance was. It was a Survivor for Kids type show. :haha: OK I remember hearing about this when it was out but I never watched it. Also wow I did not realize it lasted for 6 seasons. 😮 

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Josh Murray (The Bachelorette 10)

 

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My second cut of this Rankdown is also going to be a Bachelorette winner. As with all RTV shows, that show has had its fair share of trash win. Which brings us to Josh Murray, who has had TWO different ex-fiancées write tell-all books about how awful he is. He first showed up on season 10 of The Bachelorette. It was pretty obvious the whole time that he would be the one that this season’s lead Andi Dorfman was going to choose him. They both lived in Atlanta and they clicked instantly. He won the season over Nick Viall, who was on his first appearance on the Bachelor franchise this time and the two had a pretty intense rivalry IIRC. Anyway, Josh & Andi got engaged but broke up in January 2015, just 7 months after the finale aired. He then showed up on Bachelor in Paradise season 3, where he got engaged to Amanda Stanton, but they broke up in December 2016, just 4 months after the season finale aired. Both Andi and Amanda have written tell-all books where they described Josh as very controlling and jealous in their relationship and said he would isolate them from their friends and family. So yeah, having two exes write books about how awful you were to them while you were engaged makes you an easy cut in this Rankdown.

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Do I Make You Proud - song and lyrics by Taylor Hicks | Spotify

Taylor Hicks


I really shouldn't be overstepping my bounds and cutting American Idol winners. I know Kelly and Carrie, and a few of the better known singers that the franchise brought to light, but I never watched the show, and my familiarity drops off drastically after season 6. I do remember Taylor Hicks, however, and I just had to be the one to do him in. Taylor's bizarre antics include licking the other performers on stage, and on top of being a creepy guy to begin with, his biggest hit is the most cringy song ever to be released by an American Idol contestant. Do I Make You Proud? No Taylor Hicks. You do not.

Edited by Qorey
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  • Solaris changed the title to Reality Champion Rankdown

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