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Dancing with the Stars Rankdown 4.0 (Winner reveal page 201)


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RAY LEWIS

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Ray Lewis is an alleged murderer and former NFL player who competed in the twenty eighth season of Dancing With the Stars, where he was with Cheryl Burke because the show has loved to give her horrible partners for the better part of a decade. On the show, Ray made it too long which was to be expected since he's a football player. At least he wasn't the biggest overstay that year? #lowstandards I don't remember any routine he good, and I don't want to spend any more time thinking about him which means looking it up is not happening so

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BONNER BOLTON

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Bonner sucks. Both as a contestant and as a person. But he was with Sharna Burgess, so that's to be expected. (Charlie, Hinch and I guess Jesse unless someone knows something are excluded from this narrative.) He ended up placing fifth, despite receiving several low scores and lacking any sort of ability to actually dance.

 

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-Me when people ask me why Bonner Bolton lasted so long on Dancing With the Stars.

 

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-Me when I had to watch That's What I Like for the first time.

 

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-Me when Britt wasn't immediately given a pro spot for having to partake in said routine.

 

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-Me whenever I'm reminded that he outlasted Heather Morris, Nancy Kerrigan and f*ck it, Nick Viall too.

 

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-Me when I couldn't even celebrate Bonner's elimination properly because David Ross was somehow still there.

 

SAVE: Woz out of my Apple loyalty

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Jake T. Austin

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Writing these up pretty quickly and will try to add further detail later. Jake was a prime example of someone who could have had potential but then kinda squandered it. He was paired with Jenna for her first season, the pair never seemed to really click and Jake didn’t seem too invested either. On top of this I feel like Jenna’s choreo wasn’t at her best here but I also feel like that does come down to having a partner who didn’t really give off any vibes of being committed. The pair danced the Jive and the Cha-Cha, both of which were pretty weak, and combined with less fan support they were an easy first boot. Jake then came across kinda bitter on social media a couple years later and was liking anti-Jenna comments I think? Not a good look, so bye!

Edited by *Lily
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Jake Pavelka

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I really don’t remember a whole lot about Jake. I remember that he filled a wasted spot on a well-cast season. And I remember seeing that clip of him yelling at his then-partner on the Bachelor which was really ugly to watch. As for his time on DWTS, it’s a blur to me, I vaguely remember his Risky Business-themed dance for movie week which was his highest scoring dance, but otherwise, his scores were pretty middle of the road for the six weeks he was on, and he finished in 7th place. Pretty easy cut because he seemed like a not very nice guy who also was a not very good dancer.

 

Saving Billy Dee Williams

Edited by *Lily
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Tom DeLay

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Tom DeLay was on the 9th season of DWTS, but asking me to remember anything that season outside of Mya means you're barking up the wrong tree. Unsurprisingly, he was a terrible dancer. He did a Cha-Cha, Tango, and Samba. His Samba was particularly embarrassing. Because the voting public of DWTS is trash though, he kept on advancing, and I wonder how much longer he would've lasted if he didn't withdraw after injuring his foot. To promote his time going on the DWTS, Tom DeLay was one of the leading voices supporting the racist Obama birther conspiracy theory. Tom DeLay is racist trash. It's a miracle he lasted three rounds in this game. He should be grateful that he was ever allowed to share the stage with Cheryl Burke.

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D.L. Hughley

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D.L. was on the 16th season of DWTS. Sorry for cutting another partner of yours Queen Cheryl, I'll try to leave you alone soon hopefully! D.L. lasted five weeks on the show, but was consistently at the bottom of the pack. His strongest dance was a Foxtrot on week four, but that's not saying much. D.L. was the fourth person booted and while I would've liked to have seen Lisa last longer than him, it's not like he overstayed his welcome too much or anything though. He got in a fight with Terry Crews on Twitter when he mocked Crews opening up about getting sexually harassed by an agent in the industry, and continued to double down on his comments. Based on his dancing and who he is as a human being, D.L. can go now.

 

Save Bill Nye

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Keyshawn Johnson

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Keyshawn Johnson is (or was) a former NFL wide receiver football player, who competed on Dancing with the Stars Season 17. Keyshawn was partnered with Sharna Burgess (which was her 2nd season on the show at this point) and they were the first couple eliminated. Season 17 had one of my favorite pre-season casts where I knew nearly the entire cast, but Keyshawn was one of the few I did not know (alongside Bill Engvall - and maybe Valerie Harper? can’t remember how familiar I was with her before the season) - so that was pretty impressive to me. :haha: 

 

Keyshawn did two dances on his time on the show. He danced a Cha-Cha to “Treasure”  which scored a 17 and then a Samba to “Get Up Offa That Thing,” which scored an 18. He was eliminated after that. Neither dance were good but at least he danced to some fun funky jams. I will say that I don’t think Keyshawn was the worst dancer of the season - I thought he was 2nd to worse after Bill Nye. But Bill was fun, likable and much more entertaining (trainwreck) to watch whereas Keyshawn didn’t really have much personality or stage presence in his dancing. He was just there, boring and therefore did not stand out. Anyway Keyshawn being a football player, you would have expected him to last awhile but that was not the case.  I believe he was the first (and only?) football player to be eliminated first, which was a huge shock in the sense of how popular and long football players tend to last.  I was fine with this as Keyshawn was my least favorite here. Although i do wish he could have danced a ballroom instead of two party Latin dances.

 

I can’t remember which dance I preferred, maybe his Samba? So I’ll link that one here.

 

 

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Charles Oakley

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Hmmm once again I struggled on my 2nd cut but for different reasons than last time. Of course there were plenty of options to cut so I wasn’t sure where to go here. I settled on Charles. It’s also kinda funny doing this cut of Charles because his run was pretty identical to Keyshawn’s. Both guys are former athletes, danced two party Latin dances, were the first boot of their season, quieter/forgettable personality types and may not have been viewed as the worst dancer of their respective seasons.

 

Charles Oakley is a former NBA power forward player, who competed on Dancing with the Stars Season 29 and was partnered with Emma Slater. Charles & Emma were the first eliminated couple of this season. Poor Emma once again. :( Charles did two dances on his time on the show, which were a Salsa to “In Da Club” (MY JAM!), which scored a 12. We all know this Salsa doesn’t hold a candle to Miss Patti’s iconic Salsa. 😘 Then he did a Cha-Cha to “Never Too Much,” which scored a 15. His Cha-Cha was marginally better even though neither dance were too good. Like with Keyshawn, I do wish Charles could have danced a ballroom in there instead of two party Latins to see if he could have coped better with ballroom but that’s always a pet peeve of mine. :haha: Charles seems like a legit nice guy who tried his best, but a dancer… sadly, he is not.

 

I will link thins video that has both of his dances. So two for the price of one…. you’re welcome.

 

 

 

Saving: Antonio Brown

 

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David Hasselhoff

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Well this is a easy cut because he is pretty messy of a human being and only has one week to say for himself on this show. I'd like to thank America for not pushing him though without any talent like they love to do. Poor Kym was really put in the ringer with shitty partners throughout her run and this isn't any different. He luckily like I mentioned only danced one week and it was a hilariously bad cha cha which the 5s the judges gave him were pretty generous  lol. Oh and i think he was on Season 11 which I don't care to remember about

 

Edited by *Diana
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Nancy Grace

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I kinda wish I could go back in time to read my last rankdown because I dragged for filth once or twice now but here I am to do it again. Nancy is a racist. The things she got exposed for are beyond vile and for that reason alone I will cut her..not that she had any redeeming qualities her season of the show so this isn't a big loss. Unlike my cut a second ago she lasted way too freaking long. She should have been cut week one let alone lasting 8 miserable weeks. America really sucks sometimes that's for sure ill take us out of our misery and cut her here though.

 

Saving: Michael "The Situation" Sorrentino 

Edited by *Diana
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Chuck Liddell

 

Chuck Liddell | Chuck liddell, Dancing with the stars, Chucks

 

Chuck was on Season 9 and paired with Anna Trebunskaya. He was the first UFC fighter to be cast on the show. MMA or whatever it is. He is a former UFC Light Heavyweight Champion. He's the guy who made MMA mainstream. In the UFC Hall of Fame. From what I remember, he seemed to have a decent attitude on the show. If that's wrong or if he's been otherwise cancelled, my bad. But I think the main issue is that he was really bad at dancing. Carrie Ann, Len, and Bruno never gave him higher than a 6 in 4 weeks of competition. Fun fact, he placed 11th on Season 9, and his famous rival Randy Couture placed 11th on Season 19. 

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Steve Guttenberg

 

'Dancing with the Stars': The Men

 

Another Anna partner. This time from Season 6. Literally who tf is this. Apparently a leading man for 80s and 90s movies. Not my particular area of expertise, unfortunately. I've heard of these movie titles, but never seen them... Police Academy, Cocoon, Three Men & A Baby. Oh snap, he was the dad in It Takes Two. Now I know who this is, lmaoooo. OMG these shorts!!!!!! I am dead.

 

Poseidon's Underworld: Uncovering a Few Treasure(d) Chests! | Steve  guttenberg, Hottest male celebrities, Celebrities male

 

Anyway, on the show he lasted 3 weeks, culminating in a Tango that got straight 7s. It wasn't really that bad. But not worth saving then and not worth saving now. He also danced a Foxtrot and a Mambo. Predictably, he did the worst at the Mambo. I'm not even going to bother to rewatch that right now lol.

 

Save: Derek Fisher

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6 minutes ago, FrogLenzen said:

Uh oh...

 

--Googles "derek fisher... controversy?"--

 

On 12/23/2020 at 4:41 PM, totes4totes said:

I will participate only to give myself a forum to rant about how much I hate Derek Fisher

Lol idk but I'm sure Megan will be glad to elaborate when she hopefully gets the opportunity to cut him in the future.

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1 minute ago, Alex95 said:

 

Lol idk but I'm sure Megan will be glad to elaborate when she hopefully gets the opportunity to cut him in the future.

I TOTALLY MISSED THAT

 

And to think... I'm already in the dog house for updating all the Film Rankdown standings

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  • Solaris changed the title to Dancing with the Stars Rankdown 4.0 (Winner reveal page 201)

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