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Survivor Rankdown 2.0 (Winner Reveal Page 225)

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Peter Harkey


My first drunken rankdown writeups in a while? A concept! Peter was lowkey kinda funny, but he was the first boot of a season I don't remember well and am too drunk to look up any information on. He talked about holes a lot and everyone was like "Lol this dude weird". Honestly, he was on a tribe with Patricia Jackson and Sarah Jones so by all means he should've stuck around, but he like talked about holes a lot and sh*t so everyone found him to be weird. Instead he was the first boot. If I ever revisit Marquesas I might find him ironically hilarious, but based on the state of mind I am, he is an easy cut right now. I am working really hard on my spelling right now and I think I'm doing very well.


Save Betsy Bolan

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Wow why does JC hate men, he ranked Sean so low???

Remove my vote out of sheer disgust that Natalie has been eliminated.   You can all say goodbye to any remotely hot guy from now on. Those are now my targets and will be until further notice

Natalie Anderson deserves better than this. 🙂 

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Scot Pollard


God I wish I could give him the righteous writeup #dragging him like he deserves. I'll try to update this tomorrow, just someone will have to remind me lol. Scot is one of my least favorite Survivors ever. I was shocked when I was looking through who's remaining and I realized I forgot to nominate Scot and Jason. I hate both of them so much and they're both amongst my least faves. Scot was a more OTT villain, which I guess some people appreciated, but it just made me easier to root against him. Jason had more of an intersting backstory with more complexity to him. Scot was more of a villain because he's a privileged white assh*le who felt just because he's some famous basketball player he should get whatever he wants. During the premerge, his and Jason's treatment of Alicia was so gross. He acted extremely sexist towards her and made her boot episode the most uncomfortable episode of the season with the lack of strategizing before tribal council. I will admit that his downfall was extremely satisfying. His meltdown after the Nick vote was lolzy and his behavior was so pathetic that it made Aubry flipping Tai all the more satisfying. Despite all this, I hate him a lot and I reveled in him getting booted. He's one of the few villains that I would say was actually necessary to their season, but I still hate him so I'm comfortable cutting him.


Save Shamar, who I feel is less likely to get saved than James

Edited by Alex95
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FILTH! I did not like Kyle Jason. He competed on Koah Rong, and he and Scot were such an unlikable duo. The way they treated Alecia was terrible. Kyle called Alecia "Blondie" and would refuse to call her by her actual name. He would demean her and call her nothing but a weak girl. He's such a sexist jerk. Also, apparently he put bits of his peeling skin into the drinking water with the hopes that Alecia would drink it? Disgusting! I don't remember this, but it's mentioned on TV Tropes. Kyle was a bully, and I was just waiting for him to finally be voted out. Unfortunately, the game was going his way pre-merge, so we were stuck with him on our TV screens for too long. Thankfully he no longer had any power or influence in the game after Nick was blindsided. Kyle was on the outs for the rest of the game. Sure, Debbie, Scot, and Julia were voted out before him, but Kyle voted incorrectly each time. Kyle was finally voted out at the final 6, and it was a long time coming. Anyway, good riddance! Out goes this jerk from the rankdown.


And I'm saving Cecilia.


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I didn't even notice Marty's name on the nomination list, but I'm glad I gave it a second look. I did not like Marty at all, so I will gladly eliminate him now. Marty came across as so pompous throughout Survivor: Nicaragua. He thought he was so much smarter than everyone else, and even Jane couldn't stand him. Marty was in control of the original Espada tribe, but thankfully he had a righteous downfall after a tribe swap. He was on the bottom afterwards, and he was unable to recover. He ended up becoming the second member of the jury. At the Final Tribal Council Marty wanted Chase to call himself "dumber than a bag of hammers," but Chase called out Marty's question as BS. It was a stupid question, and I don't understand why he felt the need to try to belittle Chase like that. Marty may not have voted for Chase to win the million dollars, but Chase got the last laugh as he's made millions of dollars now as a country singer. Anyway, out goes Marty from the rankdown.


And I'll save James.


Edited by Steven_
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Honestly, I cut her because she just looks betchy and a hot mess. But she also quit, so I think it is time we quit her in this rankdown. She did hide trail mix so she was entertaining because of that. She also loses points because her boyfriend, John Rocker, looks like a complete douche. They are the worst looking couple I have ever seen. Like the epitome of mean jock and Regina George wannabe girlfriend. Also, this girl is so dumb, she did not even quit for a legit reason, she literally quit so she could be with her boyfriend. All the feminists and anyone who is not a complete chauvinist are crying. Girl, you are embarrassing so bye.


Save: Kel Gleason

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This girl look sneakily mean. Her eyes are clearly deceptive and she definitely has the crazy eyes. Anyways, she left second in Guatemala and I do not remember her so bye girl I guess. I definitely watched that season and she did nothing to make herself stick out to me in a good way or bad way. Based on survivor wiki, it seems this girl was lazy and did nothing around camp. She was strong in challenges though which is interesting. I still find it fascinating that sometimes being lazy at camp gets you voted out, but in other cases, it becomes a good strategy for people to keep you around since they see you as less threatening because they do not respect you. This is why Survivor is so unpredictable, like I would find a lazy person annoying, but it would not really affect my opinion on whether to vote them out or not. But she was on an earlier season, and nobody back then had good strategy or played early on, everyone just always just tried to get on the right side of the numbers. Glad Survivor has gotten more sophisticated. Anyways, bye girl who I do not remember, sorry none of this was really about you except your crazy eyes.


Save: Matt Quinlan

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I had to look her up on the Survivor wiki because I had no memory of her. She was a contestant on David vs Goliath, and I'm just going to recite some of her trivia to help fill the word count. She was the first person voted out of the season owing to Pat's medical evacuation in the first episode. She was 19 and placed 19th, which is kind of amusing. She's also the second contestant to place 19th and still be the first one voted out, following another castaway named Jessica in a season also filmed in Fiji. She's also the first castaway to be the first one voted out on Day 6. Exciting for her. Apparently the vote was between her and Lyrsa, so needless to say, I'm glad Lyrsa survived.


SAVE: Bill Posely

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Now that we've taken out a bunch of Thailand and Redempsh*t Island castaways, it's only fitting that we start doing the same to Ghost Island. I don't remember a Libby, so once more, I'm off to the Survivor wikia. Apparently she made an early move of flipping on her ally, which I'm sure looked good on television but probably wasn't a good move. I don't know, I don't remember and I don't care. She made it to the merge, but I don't remember her having any airtime otherwise. I also stopped watching that season once we got to the merge, so I also don't know if she did anything afterward. Apparently her alliance was targeting Michael Yerger, but she ended up being voted out after he played an Idol to save himself.


SAVE: Billy Garcia

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RYAN SHOULDERS (Pearl Islands)




i need to edit some of my write ups, I’ll do so later today. Ryan Shoulders was on the Morgan tribe of the iconic Pearl Islands season and is actually quite a memorable character, in that he and Lill were ostracized from the start and viewed as the weak links of the tribe from day one. Even if it was deserved, poor Shoulders was edited to seem kind of pathetic and I was definitely sympathetic towards him. It’s been awhile since I’ve seen PI and I’m due for a rewatch but I remember that he somehow survived the first vote where Nicole went home, but was sent packing on day 6. Bye for now Ryan Shoulders!


saving Domenick

Edited by #jeah
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Brianna Varela


Brianna literally crying out of excitement when Stepheme joined her tribe :dead:. She would soon regret her happiness when Stepheme voted out because she was fuming that Brianna doesn't know how to play basketball nor knows what a pick is. She was part of the trio of irrelevant and invisible Guatemala early boot girls so it's physically impossible to write 100 words about her time on Survivor as I'm pretty sure she didn't speak even 100 words on Survivor. Instead I will rant about how boring the early episodes of Guatemala are, though the season did at least get slightly better by the swap. I wonder how many confessionals she got...oh six confessionals! With a whopping four in her boot episode! Slightly better than my extremely low expectations. But still, she can go.


Save Ami's first arch nemesis Mia ❤️

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