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Horror Movie Rankdown 2.0 - Return of the Living Rankers


Deeee

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The Last House on the Left 

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I prefer this movie to the Hills Have Eyes. I just don't particularly love it. (This is the original for both. King Craven took a bit to achieve the level of greatness for Scream and A Nightmare on Elm Street) Having rape as a plot device does not thrill me. Meh. Especially if it happens on screen and lasts way too long. Moving on. 

I do appreciate her parents getting revenge on the people who hurt her. That is great. I really love that there's no one chirping in their ear how vengeance won't help. Will you just let the damn people live and do their thing. :angry:

The pieces of trash figured out they are seeking refuge from the girls parents. They taunt them with the necklace and everything. They don't think to leave. Exploding their head in the microwave seems legit. 

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Red Dragon

I wish last year's rankdown still existed so I could copy and paste my write-up from there and have it be my 100-word write-up for this round. Since that's already like 20 words I guess I will make this my 100 word write-up. For those of you who do not know, Red Dragon is the prequel to Silence of the Lambs based on the novel of the same name. It focuses on the relationship between FBI Agent Will Graham and cannibal serial killer Hannibal Lecter, with Anthony Hopkins once again reprising his role as Hannibal Lecter (in a movie 10 years older than Silence of the Lambs that is supposed to take place before Silence of the Lambs but whatever). First the movie focuses on Graham and Lecter working together to solve the case of the Chesapeake Ripper which turns out to be Hannibal and thus after a fight Hannibal gets sentenced to life in prison. Some time later when working on the case of the Tooth Fairy (Francis Dolarhyde) Graham is once again forced to go to Lecter for psychological consult in determining who the killer is and how to catch him.

 

This movie is all right, but in 2013 Bryan Fuller made a tv show called Hannibal which is largely inspired by the Red Dragon book. And it's so much better. Part of that is just that it gets 3 seasons and 39 episodes to explore the relationship between Hannibal and Graham but a part of that is just that it's overall just a better piece of media. Throw in the fact that Brett Ratner, who directed Red Dragon, is accused of sexual assault, well this is an easy cut to make now. Skip this movie and watch Hannibal which is now streaming on Netflix!

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All Hallow's Eve

An anthology movie featuring a homicidal clown? NO THANK YOU I WILL JUST WATCH IT.

 

 

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Cherry Falls

Rest in Peace Brittany Murphy! I will always have King of the Hill and never have to think of this mediocre early 2000s slasher flick.

 

 

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Rose Red

A miniseries! Shouldn't that disqualify it from this rankdown! I mean we didn't include The Stand (I don't think!)

 

 

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Gremlins 2

Gremlins did not need a sequel. This movie is not great!

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2 hours ago, aliasocfan said:

Cabin Fever 

*picture to be inserted when I know which one*

I'm not even sure which one I can cutting. Honestly I don't really care. 


The only one submitted was the original Cabin Fever! 

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THE SHAPE'S NOMINATIONS

 

Underworld

    Circle

    Maniac

    Return of the Living Dead 3

    House on Haunted Hill (1999)

    Ju-On: The Grudge 2

    Maggie

    1408

    Vacancy

    The Amityville Horror

    ParaNorman

    The Jacket

 

@Zoey @1234567890

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On 6/29/2020 at 4:24 PM, Deeee said:

THE SHAPE'S NOMINATIONS

 

Underworld

    Circle

    Maniac

    Return of the Living Dead 3

    House on Haunted Hill (1999)

    Ju-On: The Grudge 2

    Maggie

    1408

    Vacancy

    The Amityville Horror

    ParaNorman

    The Jacket

 

@Zoey @1234567890

 

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THE SHAPE'S NOMINATIONS

 

Underworld

    Circle

    Maniac

    Return of the Living Dead 3

    House on Haunted Hill (1999)

    Ju-On: The Grudge 2

    Maggie

    1408

    Vacancy

    The Amityville Horror

    ParaNorman

    The Jacket

 

@Zoey @1234567890

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1408

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1408 is better than most Stephen King adaptations... but that doesn't say much considering the list of good Stephen King adaptions is very minimal. (The Langoliers minus the bad CGI, both chapters of It 😘, The Stand and now the HBO limited series The Outsider - notice how three of them were mini-series). Anyway, it stars John Cusack and Samuel L. Jackson because they were in everything in the early-to-mid 2000s. The basic premise for 1408 is that John Cusack plays an author who checks into a mysterious hotel room (1408, obviously) that is supposedly haunted because nobody ever leaves it alive. Naturally he wants to check it out. Sh*t hits the fan. The ending implies he dies from what I remember.

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