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Horror Movie Rankdown 2.0 - Return of the Living Rankers

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2 minutes ago, aliasocfan said:

Were you just annoyed because you thought I was crazy enough to try to cut Texas Chainsaw Massacre already? 👀

Seems like the writes up so far, I picked movies you don't care about. 

Yes!!!!!!

 

I should have also put that I was not annoyed anymore but I thought that would be implicit! I actually think you did a great job ❤️

 

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House of 1000 Corpses (2003 dir. by Rob Zombie)

the devils rejects GIF by hero0fwar

smh at Universal losing all the footage that was excised from this movie before Lionsgate bought it.

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Ginger Snaps 2: Unleashed (2004 dir. by Brett Sullivan)

bored ginger snaps GIF

A solid follow-up, but the original is still that bitch™. Tatiana Maslany slayed though!

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Halloween: Resurrection (2002 dir. by Rick Rosenthal)

5738088413_72a84a2d10.jpg

-Busta Rhymes to Michael Myers

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Halloween (2007 dir. by Rob Zombie)

giphy.gif&f=1&nofb=1

The result of mixing The Devil's Rejects with Michael Myers.

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Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones (2014 dir. by Christopher Landon)

 

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The only reason I know this is from Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones is because it has Mexicans and people of Latin heritage in it. WTH? This franchise solely has white people the entire time and all of a sudden they wanted to market this movie to Mexicans and Latins. No, thank you. We were fine with the paranormal just killing white folks. :haha: Even though Latins/Mexicans do believe in all that stuff tbh. If this movie was good then I would let it slide but that was the thing; it was the worst movie in the franchise up until that point. SMH. Thank God, for Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension being worse than this film. The Marked Ones was the 5th installment in The Paranormal Activity series. Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones was released in 2014 and is an American found footage supernatural horror film written and directed by Christopher Landon. The film follows a Latino community in Oxnard, California where a group of high school graduates deal with the demon of a mysterious cult which has "marked" one of them. They all die, the end. You know how these Paranormal Activity movies go. Only the first two were good. The film received mixed reviews but gross $90.9 million dollars worldwide on a $9.2 million dollar budget. These movies are profitable because they are made for so cheap. Despite the 39% RT score another film was made in 2015 and another will be released in 2021. Do you want to know the cast? A bunch of nobodies. Which is every Paranormal Activity movies tbh but here it goes. Andrew Jacobs as Jesse Arista, Jorge Diaz as Hector Estrella, Gabrielle Walsh as Marisol Vargas, Renée Victor as Irma Arista, Noemi Gonzalez as, Evette Arista, David Saucedo as Cesar Arista, etc... If you want the rest go look on Wikipedia. Jesse Arista is the main character in case you were wondering. The film was predicted to debut at #1 but lost out to Frozen which was in its 7th week. :dead: Oops. The Marked Ones is the last film in the series to feature Katie Featherston. And yes, if you expected me to do my 100 word write-up about Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare you were wrong because I want it to have the highest ranking of my eliminated films.

 

 

 

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Underworld: Rise of the Lycans (2009 dir. by Patrick Tatopoulos)

 

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Here is a secret. I have never seen any of the Underworld films. :shock: I just know it revolves around vampires vs. werewolves (I think?) and it stars Kate Beckinsale as Selene. So it's like Twilight without the love triangle? I was going to questions its entry in this rankdown when Night of the Demons was wrongfully omitted (#Justice4Angela) but Wikipedia categorizes this as action horror. This is the third movie in the franchise but is a prequel to the original and Selena (Kate Beckinsale) who starred in the previous Underworld movies only appears briefly at the end of the movie. Over it.

 

 

 

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Blade: Trinity (2004 dir. by David S. Goyer)

 

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Another vampire movie? Does @aliasocfan think I have a king for vampire films? We all know the Blade films. Are they horror? Debatable. Probably another action horror scenario. Vampires vs. humans. Blah, blah, blah. You know the drill. Wesley Snipes returned as Blade. The movies also starred Jessica Biel, Parker Posey from Scream 3 and Triple H. That is enough reason to cut this film. Ryan Reynolds deserves his own shout-out because he is just so hot in this film. LOOK AT THAT GIF. I could look those abs. RYAN "NOT BLAND" REYNOLDS. ❤️

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The Butterfly Effect (2004 dir. by Eric Bress + J. Mackye Gruber)

 

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I actually really like this movie so it's unfortunate that it must go this early. This was around the time I had a huge crush on Ashton Kutcher so I loved anything he was in. It starred Ashton Kutcher as Evan who discovers he can go back in time and change the present. It has serious consequences on the present and his mind. The alternate ending @Elliott showed f*cked me up so thanks for that. :dead: I liked this film, sue me.

 

 

 

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Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare (1991 dir. by Rachel Talalay)

 

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This was presented as the last Elm Street film hence the name Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare. They lied. That's enough reason to cut this film. Oh, and the power glove. THE POWER GLOVE. Need I say more? I thought so.

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This is possibly the only good thing to come out of House of 1000 corpses. 

 

 

 

and the Devil's Rejects technically being the sequel..follow up?

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@1234567890 escaped the trap set for her by Anne!

 

@Elliott unfortunately did not escape the trap set for him by Anne, and will not earn the advantage at the end of this round.

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I don't see any post in here stating how @Deeee is proud of me because I am sure he didn't think all my write-ups would be in when checking this thread. 🙂

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I didn't finish my write-ups because I got distracted so how do you know if I passed my trap or not 🙂

  • Sad 1

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30 minutes ago, 1234567890 said:

I don't see any post in here stating how @Deeee is proud of me because I am sure he didn't think all my write-ups would be in when checking this thread. 🙂

 

I am proud! A nice surprise.

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