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Alex95

2019 Dancing with the Stars Rankdown

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6 hours ago, *Wallace said:

Make me proud, Lily. :wub:

 

Of course! :wub:

 

5 hours ago, *Wallace said:

Not a bad ranking and grouping there. I would probably put Kel in the 2nd tier group to himself - with Kate/Lauren/Sailor below him. As Kel's  had more standouts than them.

 

Wait, what? :dead: How is this possible when I barelyy know or heard of any of her songs (well I only know of 1).

 

Ahh yeah - I originally had him in the 1st tier and then thought Alex made a good point so moved him down - but then I don't think he deserves to be same category as someone like Sailor (no shade to the true winner of S28 :wub:). So yeah I think he deserves his own tier. :haha:

 

5 hours ago, *Wallace said:

Why are we acting like this is news?  :unsure: I thought we been knew this. 😛 

 

:hug: :wub:

 

5 hours ago, totes4totes said:

Ah, #bless that Lily already cut him. That's one of my battle ideas that I can't use though. :haha:

 

:haha:

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By a vote of 8-0...

 

Normani has won the battle! Ally has now been eliminated and Elliott is responsible for her writeup.

 

@*Lily can now nominate her battle.

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ALLY BROOKE

image.png.7c1a7bf2bdf615a3315bfdb9da00677b.png

 

F*cking hell, finally. 😐

 

Ally Brooke, most notably known as a “singer” from Fifth “Harmony” was a contestant on the most recent season of Dancing With the Stars. She was also a judges’ pet, obtaining the highest average of the season despite the fact that she’s easily the worst female to make a finale (other than Bristol Palin), and getting saved by them a record three times. Yep, you read that right. THREE TIMES.

 

drag race choices GIF by Rupauls Drag Race All Stars

 

Like I said, Ally got her start by torturing our ears with the crap that No Harmony inflicted on us. Then C*mila stopped being racist on Tumblr and went rogue, the group went on a “hiatus” (Little Mix would never 😘) and now they’re all trying to make it as solo artists. I have to laugh. At least Normani, who is actually a dancer, is releasing bops and turning me into a stan. (Should probably add the disclaimer I nominated her against Ally because I wanted to do a No Harmony battle and because I knew she’d be saved easily.) But following Normani getting robbed by David Ross, the show was clearly going to keep trying to make No Harmony a thing and since Ally has nothing going on in her life, she seemed like a logical pick.

 

She was partnered with Sasha Farber, and the two of them kicked their run off with a “cha cha cha” to No Harmony’s own Work From Home. They scored a 16, which I can only assume was a mistake since the song choice alone would’ve docked 30 points for me. This wasn’t an elimination this week, so the next week, Ally & Sasha danced a Viennese Waltz to Iris that somehow scored a 20. Should’ve been a 15 at most, but go off judges. After surviving the first bottom two, Ally & Sasha returned to do a rumba to Selena’s Dreaming of You. The judges acted she’d invented rumbas with this routine, even though we all know that honour happened during Normani’s season:

 

It scored a 24 despite all that, which was a relief since I was expecting them to give her 30s. I’d have given it a 21, so I guess no real complaints for me. For the first and only time this season, tbh. The week after saw the introduction of a guest judge, which meant Ally now had four people over scoring her rather than the usual three duds on the panel. How lovely for all of us. 🤢🤮 Her and Sasha did a jive to Proud Mary, and it somehow scored a 32/40 despite the fact that Ally was flailing around in it more than Ryan Ramirez did in her SYTYCD solos. For Disney week, Ally was given contemporary and turned in a Beauty and the Beast themed dance. Great, as if the combination of Ally + Fifth Harmony wasn’t bad enough, now I had to suffer through her dancing to a Beauty and the Beast-themed routine. Because the judges by this point were so far up her ass, it received all 9s for a grand total of 27. Absolutely disgusting.

 

For the sixth week, Ally & Sasha were given a quickstep. Sasha managed to do a quickstep, but for Ally, it was more of a slowstep. :unsure: Even though it deserved a low score, she was somehow given a 25. God, these judges were even worse at giving Ally the scores she deserved than they were with B*bby Bones and every mediocre white male that makes it too far, which I didn’t think was possible. Anyway, since America realized they could, indeed, vote for the black contestants this season (it only took six weeks), Ally found herself in the bottom two against last minute replacement Sailor Brinkley-Cook. In what should’ve been an obvious decision, the judges decided to torpedo this season by saving Ally despite the fact that Sailor had done better than her every single week so far.

 

I Said What I Said Real Housewives Of Atlanta GIF by Bravo TV

 

For Halloween week, Ally had a perfect opportunity to dance to an a cappella Fifth Harmony song since I can’t think of anything scarier. Instead, she danced a Joker/Harley Quinn inspired dance to Sweet But Psycho. It’s at this point that I’d like to say STOP ROMANTICIZING THE JOKER & HARLEY QUINN. THEY ARE NOT RELATIONSHIP GOALS, YOU STUPID INSTAGRAM INFLUENCERS. :rolleyes: (And before y’all @ me, it was my least favourite of James Hinchcliffe’s routines too.) Par the course for the season, Ally was gifted another ridiculously high score, receiving a 27/30. I would say I have to laugh but I can’t even laugh at this anymore.

 

Dance-off week saw Ally dance a routine to her own song, which was weird since Halloween week was the week before. I’m sure you’re all surprised that she received a perfect score even though the routine was a flaming pile of sh*t. She got wiped in the dance-off with Kel, losing the two bonus points. She landed in the bottom two again, and the judges stupidly elected to save her over Kate & Pasha despite the fact that Kate & Pasha had also been doing better than her literally every single week.

 

I Said What I Said Real Housewives Of Atlanta GIF by Bravo TV

 

For Top 6 week, another guest judge was brought in to help with the over scoring of Ally. Their samba was largely mediocre, but received a perfect 40. Their jazz, which the judges acted like invented jazz routines or something, was honestly horrible and Ally was out of sync for significant portions of it. But hey, we’ll just ignore that so they can give her another 40 and act like she deserved it. In the end, Ally was kept safe from the bottom two so S*an could finally get eliminated, so I’ll withhold shady comments about her deserving to be eliminated solely on account of S*an’s elimination finally happening. Top 5 week approached, which meant the judges stayed on their bullsh*t. Ally’s first routine was a Viennese Waltz to an Ed Sheeran song that scored a 29, despite it being offensive to three of my five senses. Her second routine was a Charleston, which was legitimately terrible and easily the worst of Ally’s entire DWTS run. Even though there were more sync issues involved with it than Ashlee Simpson on Saturday Night Live, the judges thought Ally invented dancing and awarded her one of the most undeserving 30s I’d ever seen.

 

Ally found herself in the bottom two for the third time this season, which to most people would be a sign that the voters aren’t latching onto her, but whatever. Because these judges suck and should’ve been replaced years ago, they still saved her over James Van Der Beek, who had literally wiped the floor with her the entire season. Afterward, the judges tried to say that Ally was a better dancer because she had a higher average despite the fact they were legit over-scoring her on weeks to try and keep her out of the bottom two. Imagine being paid millions and still being that terrible at your job? Must be nice.

 

For the finale, I honestly don’t remember because I probably shut off the TV anytime Ally came on screen. She ended her reign of terror on Dancing With the Stars by placing third, which was a mild surprise since it seemed like a foregone conclusion she was placing fourth. At least she only beat Lauren Alaina that night, even though everyone else from the season not named Ray or S*an could honestly say they were robbed by Ally Brooke.

 

YOU ALL THANKFULLY SAVED: Normani Kordei

normani kordei dwts GIF by Dancing with the Stars

  • Confused 4

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Disgusting I want that two minutes of my life back I wasted reading that piece of crap.

  • Like 3
  • Haha 1

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No hard feelings... just some justice for that last cut. :kissbye:


Kelly Monaco vs. Lindsey Stirling

  • Like 1

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1 minute ago, Elliott said:

page remains GIF


Yes because your battle was a total surprise!

  • Like 2

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Just now, *Lily said:

Yes because your battle was a total surprise!

I did say I was going to be predictable in my introduction. :giggle: 

  • Haha 1

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I almost targeted Chris Mazdzer but feel like that would have been the anticlimax of the century

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2 minutes ago, Solaris said:

I wish to abstain from voting!

Just remember I didn't cut Billy Ray Cyrus or Kellie Pickler this time around. 😘

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Just now, *Lily said:

I almost targeted Chris Mazdzer but feel like that would have been the anticlimax of the century

:dead::dead::dead::dead::dead::dead::dead::dead::dead::dead::dead:

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So, I suppose I'll be the only ranker to go with a fodder battle as per usual. :dead: 

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Just now, Elliott said:

Just remember I didn't cut Kellie Pickler this time around. 😘

 

That is appreciated! ^_^

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6 minutes ago, *Lily said:

No hard feelings... just some justice for that last cut. :kissbye:


Kelly Monaco vs. Lindsey Stirling

 Cut Lindsey!

  • Like 1

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2 minutes ago, totes4totes said:

 Cut Lindsey!


RT.

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3 minutes ago, totes4totes said:

 Cut Lindsey!

Lindsey got B*bby on the show and as (probably) her biggest stan around here, even I can't forgive her for that.

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6 minutes ago, Steven_ said:

That is appreciated! ^_^

To be fair, she's literally only been eligible for nomination for now two sets of nominations. :rofl:

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Just now, Elliott said:

To be fair, she's literally only been eligible for nomination for now two sets of nominations. :rofl:

 

True, but I'm glad you didn't nominate her in your battle since I know you're not a fan. 😄

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