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> 2011-08-07 VH1 - Behind the Music
ssuussaann
post Aug 11th 2011, 12:59 AM
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I FIANLLY wathced it, thanks to Terra and everyone here who posted that she uploaded. It was great of course, but I can't decide which one I likes better, this or THS. In THS I really liked Adam's teachers talking, and they seemed to have more reminiscing in general. Does anyone have a download of that one?

And speaking of THS, what channel produced that? Maybe some fans can petition them to re-relase it now so the new conververt from BTM can watch it, too. (I think BTM had a bigger effect that way than THS, no?)


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madamimadam
post Aug 11th 2011, 8:39 AM
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Open letter to Adam....

RagMan_RIP W.R.R. Tepes "When We Had To Hide" An Open Letter to @adamlambert by W.R.R.: http://bit.ly/qEEi88 Thnx Adam, for all that ya are, all that ya do. #LGBT


http://asashesscatter.com/2011/08/10/when-we-had-to-hide/

When We Had To HideBy tepeswrr
An Open Letter to Adam Lambert
By W.R.R.

If I could do such a simple thing as sit somewhere & have a beer with ya, & if we were goin’ to talk bout school days & hidin’, this is what I’d wanna say to ya:

I never thought to hide my sexuality in school; I never even consciously thought bout it in concrete terms. I came from an abusive home that didn’t prepare me at all for how the rest of the world saw things, & I was too busy hidin’ the abuse & tryin’ to survive to think bout much else. I didn’t even know I was technically sexually active til watchin’ contraband TV made me realize that’s what sex was. All I knew was that some stuff hurt & some stuff didn’t; none of it had names or any context to hang understandin’ on. Later on, between thirteen & fourteen, I started to figure out a lot becuz I had finally made my first friend in junior high & he told me some stuff, & introduced me to more, both legal & not. Discoverin’ that this thing, this act, could give pleasure, & that I could seek it out instead of waitin’ to be told to do it – that was a whole new world that opened up. I acquired quite a few addictions in my teen years, most of which I’m pleased to say I’ve since quit. At the time, though, with my home life the way it was, I didn’t much care if I shouldn’t be doin’ that stuff.

What ya said on yer Behind the Music, bout bein’ scared & hidin’, bein’ confused & tryin’ to pretend, I lived that too; but I didn’t have the sense to hide the fact that I liked to kiss boys as well as girls, & it added a whole new dimension to the bullyin’ in school. The closest thing to a gay/straight alliance we had in my high school was me findin’ out which of the bullies was secretly gay. One in particular, a football jock no less, I met at a wild basement party. Runnin’ into him at school, I thought we’d do stuff together, & we did – if no one saw. If his buddies were around, he’d lend a fist on the regularly scheduled beat down. I guess it seems insane to some, my real friend wanted to get him back for hurtin’ me; but I was gettin’ the same treatment at home so it wasn’t that strange to switch between bein’ his hook up & his punchin’ bag. He hated himself so much becuz he was gay & just decidin’ to be gay, acceptin’ it, seemed out of the question for him. He couldn’t resist what he wanted, but when faced with it around others, all he wanted to do was destroy it.

Half way through high school I gotta second friend, my current boyfriend, & he was hidin’ too. I can’t imagine how our lives mighta changed if there had been anybody sayin’ it was ok to be a gay or bi kid, or even if society had some examples like ya mentioned on the show: TV, movies, or all the way up to a legit gay/straight alliance after school. Given a safe place to discuss bein’ bi, maybe I coulda had the guts to tell somebody I was bein’ abused, too.

Anyhow, not tryin’ to upset ya with my past, just wanted to share a perspective that many don’t have; unfortunately, some others know exactly what I went through cuz they did too. Those of us who are survivors aren’t necessarily the tougher or braver ones, though it’s certainly a given that any survivor of abuse is tough & brave – mostly we’re the ones that got some sorta help along the way, whether at the time or later, from some source. I believe those who were either killed or took their own lives were also tough & brave; they just never got that help before it all started to feel too bleak on the way to feelin’ pointless. Fact is, as a child or teen, ya don’t often think bout life beyond school, beyond abuse or bullyin’; takes a while for that restricted viewpoint to fade. Hand in hand with that, are too many folks who don’t take the time to see, to ask, to get involved.

So while we’re hoistin’ imaginary beer, why am I tellin’ ya this? Cuz yer my steppin’ stone, helpin’ me by yer example alone to be what I wanna be, to be somethin’ I once thought I could never be: a whole & happy bisexual man, free to be himself without apologies. I am so grateful that ya had a good home, with a lovin’ family, & later found similar artistic friends to add to that family. I grew up, started to learn that there’s a whole big chunk of the world that ain’t like my birth family, & I was able to make my own. They help me every day to face the challenges that remain.

There are so many kids & teens out there though, who are just like we were, either hidin’ abuse or hidin’ who they really are, both outta fear. I wish I could do more to help ‘em. I’m bipolar, & I suffer from agoraphobia & a grab bag of other phobias that make it so hard for me to relate to others at all. What I do have is my experience, perspective, & a desire to share it in the hope of reachin’ somebody. If my poetry, my essays, or even my goofy tweets help somebody like me, then I’m more than willin’ to toss ‘em out there, like bread crumbs to follow outta the dark.

Just wanna tell ya along the way that yer loved & appreciated for what ya do, & ya don’t need to carry the flag of any cause to do it. Yer out there, bein’ yerself, showin’ the rest of us what’s possible with hard work & conviction; & that’s all ya need to be. We both know there’s a lotta crazy haters in the world; I just like to remind ya that there are sane & decent folks, too. Ya already know that, of course, but sometimes the hateful voices seem to be awful loud. I hope the folks that love & appreciate ya will raise their voices louder, & more often. In the meantime, I love seein’ ya so happy in both career & love, & I am patiently lookin’ forward to new music, too. Sorry for the epicness, this was gonna be shorter; but I can’t ever get through when ya do twitter parties, & wanted to be sure ya had a chance to know what ya mean to me & to others – to a whole lotta us out here, in fact. As for that imaginary beer, it’s on me. See ya next round.


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ssuussaann
post Aug 11th 2011, 11:17 AM
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You know what makes me suspicious about the 'hard luck' aspect of this letter? It's just too good, the grammar, the spelling, and most of all the lingo that is perfectly sculpted to relay the desired tone...not to take away from it, but a good writer has written a worthwhile fantasy.

Not to mention that the story has a beginning, a middle and an end. And is a lot more lucid than some peeps' posts sometimes!


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madamimadam
post Aug 11th 2011, 11:37 AM
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QUOTE(ssuussaann @ Aug 11th 2011, 12:17 PM) *

You know what makes me suspicious about the 'hard luck' aspect of this letter? It's just too good, the grammar, the spelling, and most of all the lingo that is perfectly sculpted to relay the desired tone...not to take away from it, but a good writer has written a worthwhile fantasy.

Not to mention that the story has a beginning, a middle and an end. And is a lot more lucid than some peeps' posts sometimes!


He's a writer.


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ssuussaann
post Aug 11th 2011, 11:44 AM
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Oh. Well, is the writer the same person, or putting him/herself in another person's place?


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AniMaL
post Aug 12th 2011, 7:22 AM
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ET...
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This post has been edited by AniMaL: Aug 12th 2011, 7:27 AM


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madamimadam
post Aug 12th 2011, 5:40 PM
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For those of us outside the U.S., I have made a video of the entire show.... Enjoy!

http://vimeo.com/27636662



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Love2Lurk
post Aug 12th 2011, 5:46 PM
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QUOTE(madamimadam @ Aug 11th 2011, 9:39 AM) *

Open letter to Adam....

RagMan_RIP W.R.R. Tepes "When We Had To Hide" An Open Letter to @adamlambert by W.R.R.: http://bit.ly/qEEi88 Thnx Adam, for all that ya are, all that ya do. #LGBT
http://asashesscatter.com/2011/08/10/when-we-had-to-hide/

When We Had To HideBy tepeswrr
An Open Letter to Adam Lambert
By W.R.R.

If I could do such a simple thing as sit somewhere & have a beer with ya, & if we were goin’ to talk bout school days & hidin’, this is what I’d wanna say to ya:

I never thought to hide my sexuality in school; I never even consciously thought bout it in concrete terms. I came from an abusive home that didn’t prepare me at all for how the rest of the world saw things, & I was too busy hidin’ the abuse & tryin’ to survive to think bout much else. I didn’t even know I was technically sexually active til watchin’ contraband TV made me realize that’s what sex was. All I knew was that some stuff hurt & some stuff didn’t; none of it had names or any context to hang understandin’ on. Later on, between thirteen & fourteen, I started to figure out a lot becuz I had finally made my first friend in junior high & he told me some stuff, & introduced me to more, both legal & not. Discoverin’ that this thing, this act, could give pleasure, & that I could seek it out instead of waitin’ to be told to do it – that was a whole new world that opened up. I acquired quite a few addictions in my teen years, most of which I’m pleased to say I’ve since quit. At the time, though, with my home life the way it was, I didn’t much care if I shouldn’t be doin’ that stuff.

What ya said on yer Behind the Music, bout bein’ scared & hidin’, bein’ confused & tryin’ to pretend, I lived that too; but I didn’t have the sense to hide the fact that I liked to kiss boys as well as girls, & it added a whole new dimension to the bullyin’ in school. The closest thing to a gay/straight alliance we had in my high school was me findin’ out which of the bullies was secretly gay. One in particular, a football jock no less, I met at a wild basement party. Runnin’ into him at school, I thought we’d do stuff together, & we did – if no one saw. If his buddies were around, he’d lend a fist on the regularly scheduled beat down. I guess it seems insane to some, my real friend wanted to get him back for hurtin’ me; but I was gettin’ the same treatment at home so it wasn’t that strange to switch between bein’ his hook up & his punchin’ bag. He hated himself so much becuz he was gay & just decidin’ to be gay, acceptin’ it, seemed out of the question for him. He couldn’t resist what he wanted, but when faced with it around others, all he wanted to do was destroy it.

Half way through high school I gotta second friend, my current boyfriend, & he was hidin’ too. I can’t imagine how our lives mighta changed if there had been anybody sayin’ it was ok to be a gay or bi kid, or even if society had some examples like ya mentioned on the show: TV, movies, or all the way up to a legit gay/straight alliance after school. Given a safe place to discuss bein’ bi, maybe I coulda had the guts to tell somebody I was bein’ abused, too.

Anyhow, not tryin’ to upset ya with my past, just wanted to share a perspective that many don’t have; unfortunately, some others know exactly what I went through cuz they did too. Those of us who are survivors aren’t necessarily the tougher or braver ones, though it’s certainly a given that any survivor of abuse is tough & brave – mostly we’re the ones that got some sorta help along the way, whether at the time or later, from some source. I believe those who were either killed or took their own lives were also tough & brave; they just never got that help before it all started to feel too bleak on the way to feelin’ pointless. Fact is, as a child or teen, ya don’t often think bout life beyond school, beyond abuse or bullyin’; takes a while for that restricted viewpoint to fade. Hand in hand with that, are too many folks who don’t take the time to see, to ask, to get involved.

So while we’re hoistin’ imaginary beer, why am I tellin’ ya this? Cuz yer my steppin’ stone, helpin’ me by yer example alone to be what I wanna be, to be somethin’ I once thought I could never be: a whole & happy bisexual man, free to be himself without apologies. I am so grateful that ya had a good home, with a lovin’ family, & later found similar artistic friends to add to that family. I grew up, started to learn that there’s a whole big chunk of the world that ain’t like my birth family, & I was able to make my own. They help me every day to face the challenges that remain.

There are so many kids & teens out there though, who are just like we were, either hidin’ abuse or hidin’ who they really are, both outta fear. I wish I could do more to help ‘em. I’m bipolar, & I suffer from agoraphobia & a grab bag of other phobias that make it so hard for me to relate to others at all. What I do have is my experience, perspective, & a desire to share it in the hope of reachin’ somebody. If my poetry, my essays, or even my goofy tweets help somebody like me, then I’m more than willin’ to toss ‘em out there, like bread crumbs to follow outta the dark.

Just wanna tell ya along the way that yer loved & appreciated for what ya do, & ya don’t need to carry the flag of any cause to do it. Yer out there, bein’ yerself, showin’ the rest of us what’s possible with hard work & conviction; & that’s all ya need to be. We both know there’s a lotta crazy haters in the world; I just like to remind ya that there are sane & decent folks, too. Ya already know that, of course, but sometimes the hateful voices seem to be awful loud. I hope the folks that love & appreciate ya will raise their voices louder, & more often. In the meantime, I love seein’ ya so happy in both career & love, & I am patiently lookin’ forward to new music, too. Sorry for the epicness, this was gonna be shorter; but I can’t ever get through when ya do twitter parties, & wanted to be sure ya had a chance to know what ya mean to me & to others – to a whole lotta us out here, in fact. As for that imaginary beer, it’s on me. See ya next round.



Poignant blushing.gif I hope Adam has seen this .....he is such a positive force of nature wub.gif


QUOTE(madamimadam @ Aug 12th 2011, 6:40 PM) *

For those of us outside the U.S., I have made a video of the entire show.... Enjoy!

http://vimeo.com/27636662





huggy.gif


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AniMaL
post Aug 13th 2011, 10:33 AM
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QUOTE(AniMaL @ Aug 12th 2011, 8:22 AM) *

ET...
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This repeat has been removed from the schedule... pinch.gif ...and no other airings are listed, to date. sad.gif


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madamimadam
post Aug 13th 2011, 11:26 AM
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QUOTE(AniMaL @ Aug 13th 2011, 11:40 AM) *

Additional VH1 DSA listings...(ET)
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KYAA
post Aug 13th 2011, 11:39 AM
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QUOTE(madamimadam @ Aug 12th 2011, 5:40 PM) *

For those of us outside the U.S., I have made a video of the entire show.... Enjoy!

http://vimeo.com/27636662





Can't you please, put it on megaupload something? flowers.gif


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madamimadam
post Aug 13th 2011, 12:13 PM
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QUOTE(KYAA @ Aug 13th 2011, 12:39 PM) *

Can't you please, put it on megaupload something? flowers.gif



It's a huge file (over 800 MB). If you do not have an account at MegaUpload, you won't be able to upload it.

Let me know if you do and I'll upload so you can have it.


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KYAA
post Aug 13th 2011, 2:07 PM
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QUOTE(madamimadam @ Aug 13th 2011, 12:13 PM) *

It's a huge file (over 800 MB). If you do not have an account at MegaUpload, you won't be able to upload it.

Let me know if you do and I'll upload so you can have it.



I don't blarg.gif


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madamimadam
post Aug 13th 2011, 2:11 PM
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QUOTE(KYAA @ Aug 13th 2011, 3:07 PM) *

I don't blarg.gif



What you can do though, is what I did. I used the six parts downloads from Terra_zephead. Then I used Windows Live Movie Maker (it comes with your Windows program). Import all six files you just downloaded and then burn a DVD or save to your computer.

Here are the six parts downloads from Terra:

2011-08-07 - VH1 Behind the Music - Part 1 http://www.megaupload.com/?d=6UHH21B0
2011-08-07 - VH1 Behind the Music - Part 2 http://www.megaupload.com/?d=0N16I84D
2011-08-07 - VH1 Behind the Music - Part 3 http://www.megaupload.com/?d=ASYF1Q5I
2011-08-07 - VH1 Behind the Music - Part 4 http://www.megaupload.com/?d=SG1XHXI9
2011-08-07 - VH1 Behind the Music - Part 5 http://www.megaupload.com/?d=MXQMVT4X
2011-08-07 - VH1 Behind the Music - Part 6 http://www.megaupload.com/?d=O872CII8


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madamimadam
post Aug 13th 2011, 11:17 PM
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rames767: just watched Adam Lambert Behind the Music- now pissed again that GMA X'd him & still invited Chris Brown


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KYAA
post Aug 14th 2011, 8:03 AM
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QUOTE(madamimadam @ Aug 13th 2011, 2:11 PM) *

What you can do though, is what I did. I used the six parts downloads from Terra_zephead. Then I used Windows Live Movie Maker (it comes with your Windows program). Import all six files you just downloaded and then burn a DVD or save to your computer.

Here are the six parts downloads from Terra:

2011-08-07 - VH1 Behind the Music - Part 1 http://www.megaupload.com/?d=6UHH21B0
2011-08-07 - VH1 Behind the Music - Part 2 http://www.megaupload.com/?d=0N16I84D
2011-08-07 - VH1 Behind the Music - Part 3 http://www.megaupload.com/?d=ASYF1Q5I
2011-08-07 - VH1 Behind the Music - Part 4 http://www.megaupload.com/?d=SG1XHXI9
2011-08-07 - VH1 Behind the Music - Part 5 http://www.megaupload.com/?d=MXQMVT4X
2011-08-07 - VH1 Behind the Music - Part 6 http://www.megaupload.com/?d=O872CII8


Thanks a lot!! flowers.gif flowers.gif


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sherrie
post Aug 14th 2011, 3:01 PM
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QUOTE(madamimadam @ Aug 13th 2011, 11:17 PM) *

rames767: just watched Adam Lambert Behind the Music- now pissed again that GMA X'd him & still invited Chris Brown



Hopefully, one day ABC will give it up and have Adam back to GMA and would also love to see him on Jimmy Kimmel flowers.gif


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ssuussaann
post Aug 15th 2011, 2:25 AM
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I think Adam's too big for Kimmel already. Correct me if I'm wrong, but it always seems he has little-known break-out acts performing.


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Sage
post Aug 20th 2011, 6:14 PM
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QUOTE(ssuussaann @ Aug 15th 2011, 2:25 AM) *

I think Adam's too big for Kimmel already. Correct me if I'm wrong, but it always seems he has little-known break-out acts performing.

Gaga performed on Kimmel just a few weeks ago. Adele was also on a few months ago.


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ssuussaann
post Aug 21st 2011, 11:56 AM
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oh...okay!


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