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  • Posts

    • 181. Charlotte Sometimes (Season 2) "Apologize" by OneRepublic     Let's kick this batch off with a fun fact! Not counting the female half of The LiNE (something the duo's male half clearly doesn't do, lol), Charlotte was the first woman to ever get all four chairs to turn around in the show's American history! It was – and, truly, still is – something worth celebrating, especially for a show where women are constantly fighting for the slightest semblance of recognition. Having said that, while I'm not going to sit here and say that Charlotte, for the time, was undeserving of this distinction, I am happy to sit here and get into all of the reasons why this performance is simply not my cup of tea.   In twenty five seasons, I don't think I've heard someone struggle to beat the cursive singing allegations quite as hard as Charlotte during this audition. What starts as a kind of appealing tone is quickly muddied the moment her diction simultaneously intensifies and falls to pieces, leading to moments where you can hear singing about how she's holding onto her "ro" and how, when it comes to apologizing, it's "too la-yee-yayte". The way the power of the vocal is allocated throughout the number is also kind of strange; it almost feels like she's overdelivering when she needs to reel it in and underdelivering when the song calls for a little more oomph. Charlotte's passion is absolutely palpable throughout the song, no doubt, but without a foundation to stand upon the song ends up falling apart. When a glory note feels unearned, at that point you gotta step back and reconsider either the song choice or the approach – ultimately, neither of these things felt like they availed themselves to Charlotte's otherwise intriguing singing style. The problems aren't nearly egregious enough to warrant a thorough dissertation, but Charlotte's audition wouldn't have been my thing even if it had been perfect, and... it just wasn't.    Clue Breakdown 181. 1918 was a big year for them, I guess.  A nod towards the novel from which her stagename is derived, a 1969 children's book by Penelope Farmer that takes place in the year 1918.  Point: none   180. Laura Williams (Season 24) "Fingers Crossed" by Lauren Spencer-Smith     Hey, honestly, how soon did you guys think we'd get an audition from Season 24 on this list? Given how that season makes up a whopping 20 of the 186 auditions on the list – that's one season taking up a little more than 1/10th of the ranking, dear lord – one might've expected it to crop up a little sooner. I feel a little bad for putting Laura this low because, in the name of transparency, there are things that work really well in Laura's favor during this performance. Girl's got a gorgeous lower range, and she's got a natural cry in her delivery that – when used in moderation – amplifies the power of the sweet spot in her voice. If anything, I can definitely see why Laura got all four chairs on the basis of how much potential can be found in these strengths.   Unfortunately, Laura's weighed down heavily by the sheer disservice done to her by her choice of song. If you asked me to choose one word to describe Laura's audition in its entirety, the word of the day is "strain". From the moment she hit the verses right before the chorus, my ears were clued into how the range the song's chorus lingers around – the A4–C5 zone, if we're getting technical – is just barely out of reach from where Laura can belt comfortably. The result is a lot of pushing for the higher notes to land, which quickly devolves into the performance going from imperfect yet compelling to a little too much screlting for my liking. And, like Charlotte, Laura emoted the song beautifully, but I think a lot of that ends up getting lost in translation when, at first listen, it sounds like the emotion is compromising the vocal. I think Laura is a great singer who deserved a much better song than what she got, because a song that played more to her strengths could've given us a better first impression. As it stands, though, I can't say I was shocked when her journey got brought to an end in the Battles. At the end of the day, the potential was there, but the final product needed a lot of fine tuning.    Clue Breakdown 180. Poor kid's been through so much undeserved pain that I almost felt bad putting them this low. Fun drinking game idea: go to Laura's official bio from The Voice and take a shot for every formative trauma the poor girl experienced leading up to her time on the show. Genuinely kind of feel for her. Wondering if anyone caught the nod to her Battle Rounds song in the clue, too... Point: @Adam Bruce   179. The Morgan Twins (Season 4) "Fallin'" by Alicia Keys     Happy two of them Tuesday! Question for the masses: have you ever watched an audition from The Voice and wonder if it could've been AI-generated? Probably not, as I certainly haven't ever genuinely considered it, but the meddling of artificial technology is, quite frankly, the only explanation I can offer as to what exactly is going on with these two. In the name of fairness, I'd say the Morgan Twins wouldn't have made it this low if only the vocals were under the magnifying glass – granted, beyond their congruous harmonies, they did next to nothing to distinguish their rendition of "Fallin'" from the original recording, but you can't fault them for coloring nicely, even if it's strictly within the lines drawn for them.   What makes the Morgan Twins' audition one of the most baffling on the list – and, in my opinion, what drops them down to the Bottom 10 – is just how disconcerting their act is. What else should I say when I'm watching two nearly identical women, down to matching red dresses, sing with almost zero movement for most of the number, only breaking free from their stasis to strut across the stage in one direction before returning to their perch? Match the visual up to a version of "Fallin'" that's got absolutely zero sensuality or emotion and you're met with an uncomfortable ensemble standing before you. I've always found this audition a little weird for that reason – somehow, The Voice, for only ninety seconds, began treading towards uncanny valley territory, and only by offering us a competent Alicia Keys cover that's drier and less distinctive than a bowl full of unsalted crackers. Objectively, they probably should be a little higher, but the Morgan Twins' audition is just... really unenjoyable for me for that reason.    (Honestly, the way they were so quietly dispatched in a Battle Rounds montaged just a few weeks later makes me wonder exactly why their audition got so much attention when it did – they opened the season, y'all.)   Clue Breakdown 179. I wonder what combination tactics were used just for them to get to the Finale all those years later.  Blonde Morgan (twin) + Blonde Morgan (twin) = Blonde Morgan (Myles)? Point: @Adam Bruce   178. Anatalia Villaranda (Season 12) "Runaway Baby" by Bruno Mars     Controversy abound! Anatalia hitting my Bottom Ten is bound to not sit right with a couple of folks who hold her audition in decently high regard, and... hey, honestly, I can't blame people for liking it. Anatalia chose an upbeat song with a heck of a lot of groove behind it, and she nailed pretty much every word with decisive aplomb, tackling the hectic verbiage of the number with no sweat. It's not my absolute favorite from a vocal standpoint – I think she loses a little too much steam in the last thirty seconds for me to really stay excited the entire way through – but, hey, if we're looking at the performance from an actual performance standpoint only, this probably would be sitting at least fifty slots higher.   So, that begs the question: why is Anatalia's audition so low? To best explain myself, I'm going to offer a few select verses from "Runaway Baby", verses recited by Ms. Villaranda herself during her audition.    Well, looky here, looky here, ah, what do we have? Another pretty thing ready for me to grab But little does she know that I'm a wolf in sheep's clothing 'Cause at the end of the night, it is her I'll be holding   Well, let me think, let me think, ah, what should I do? So many eager young bunnies that I'd like to pursue Now even though they're eating out the palm of my hand There's only one carrot and they all gotta share it   If you're scared, you better run (you better run) You better run (you better run) You better run (you better run) You better, you better, you better...   ... So you guys know that Anatalia was 16 years old when she auditioned for The Voice, right?   It's... really hard for this audition to sit right with me. There's no doubt in my mind that whoever chose the song – whether it was Anatalia herself or one of the show's executives – didn't for a moment consider whether or not a girl in high school should be singing a song about a self-professed womanizer whose claim to fame is chasing after women like a carnivorous animal, and it's really hard to shake the unfortunate implications of her audition in its entirety because of that. "Runaway Baby" was an interesting enough choice that did Anatalia a handful of favors musically, but... I'm sorry, y'all, but knowing what this song is about, I can't get behind this one. This audition has its fans, and I'm perfectly content with those fans disagreeing, but thinking about this audition for more than a few seconds makes it really hard for me to enjoy, as good of a singer as Anatalia is.   (That said, I kinda wish Anatalia was dealt a better hand during her run with Alicia afterwards – her song choices were pretty weaksauce save for her Battle.)    Clue Breakdown 178. I don't know what was more inappropriate – the song choice or (one of) the coaches' commentary.  Pick your poison! Are you more skeeved out by a 16 year-old singing this song, or by Adam trying to lure said 16 year-old into joining his team with cake he apparently has backstage. Adam! Point: @Dai   177. Jesse Campbell (Season 2) "A Song for You" by Leon Russell (Donny Hathaway version)     Yeah, for those of you keeping count at home, we're up to three contestants from Season 2 sneaking into the Bottom Ten. Let's just say Season 2 wasn't a great showing across the board with this ranking.   Speaking of unpleasant showings, Mr. Jesse Campbell! There's a lot to be said about this guy and his run on the show, but let's give credit where credit is due – he's one hell of a singer. If nothing else, his introductory performance of "A Song for You" is nothing if not impressive, beat for beat. Unfortunately for Jesse, "impressive" is a very different descriptor than, say, "emotional", "compelling", or "digestible".   "A Song for You" is one of my favorite songs of all time, so consider my scrutiny of Jesse's rendition to be a matter of slight bias, but it's hard to say much about his audition beyond "that was impressive!" when he blazes through his ninety second cut without offering a single second that isn't perfectly calculated and emotionally unreadable. Jesse didn't miss a single note, but he lost the song's cargo at a certain point of the journey, and, rewatch after rewatch, I had a pretty hard time feeling as though he was truthfully conveying the undying yearning that's intrinsic to the story behind the song.   Given the way he presents the number, it's clear from the get-go that Jesse sought to accomplish earning a four-chair turn with all of the tricks in his bag, and, in that sense he succeeded. It's just a shame that he sacrificed every droplet of earnest delivery in the name of melodic purity, delivering a rendition of a classic ballad that, ultimately, suffered from being too clean, both vocally and emotionally. If the absence of passion behind Jesse's audition weren't an omen for what would come later on in his tenure during the competition, than I'm not sure what could've been.   Clue Breakdown 177. The Voice: not great for the resume, definitely great for Wikipedia.  It seems like the only place where anyone has anything good to say about Jesse is whoever was writing Jesse's Wikipedia page way back when. If you're ever in the mood for a laugh, go through some of the earlier revisions of the page, it's comically self-congratulatory.  Point: @thevoiceisthetop
    • Battle 1 Would Steal Artist Original Team 73% Bryan John 46% Ryan Dan + Shay 39% L. Rogers Reba 44% Gabriel Chance 52% OK3 John 64% Alyssa Reba   Top Would Steal Artist Original Team 73% Bryan John 64% Alyssa Reba 52% OK3 John 46% Ryan Dan + Shay 44% Gabriel Chance 39% L. Rogers Reba
    • Some Stats for Blinds   Team John 1 Montage  Vote Average 70% Chance 1 Montage Vote Average  56% Dan + Shay 0 Montage Vote Average 66% Rebe 1 Montage Vote Average 63%   Blind 1 Vote Average 65% Blind 2 Vote Average 60% Blind 3 Vote Average 56% Blind 4 Vote Average 56% Blind 5 Vote Average 58% Blind 6 Vote Average 56%
    • Blind 6 App Vote Name Team 59% Val Chance 26% JoeWun No Chair 74% Kyle Dan + Shay 33% L. Rodgers Reba 56% Raina No Chair 85% Olivia John     Top Overall App Vote Name Team Episode 92% Gene John 2 89% Bryan John 3 89% Serenity Chance 5 88% Madison Dan + Shay 3 87% OK3 Legend 1 85% Olivia John 6 83% Donny Reba 2 83% Elyscia Reba 5 82% Josh Reba 1 78% Dani Chance 1 77% Karen Dan + Shay 2 74% Mafe John 4 74% Ryan Dan + Shay 5 74% Kyle Dan + Shay 6 72% Asher Reba 3 72% AJ Dan + Shay 5 67% Ducote Dan + Shay 5 65% Corey Chance 3 65% Summer No Chair 3 64% Justin & Jeremy Dan + Shay 1 62% Maddi Chance 2 61% Tae Reba 1 61% Anya Dan + Shay 4 60% Alyssa Reba 4 59% Val Chance 6 57% Nathan John 2 56% Rob No Chair 4 56% Raina No Chair 6 55% Ryan Dan + Shay 1 55% Devon No Chair 2 55% Jackie John 3 53% Nadège Chance 1 53% Mecca No Chair 3 50% J.J. No Chair 5 47% William Reba 4 46% Ashley Reba 3 46% Ronnie John 5 42% Zoe John 5 39% Kamalei Chance 3 39% Moelle No Chair 5 37% Ash No Chair 1 35% RLETTO Chance 4 33% L. Rodgers Reba 6 28% Gabriel Chance 2 27% Frank Dan + Shay 3 26% JoeWun No Chair 6 23% Aeden No Chair 2 15% Emma No Chair 5 14% Ten No Chair 3   App Vote Name Team Episode Montage Rivers John 3 Montage Bri Chance 4 Montage Zeya Reba 5
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