The NGH Report - American Idol 11's Aspen Auditions: "Bull Testes!", Please comment what you think! :) Options

[nevergoinghome]

The NGH Report – American Idol 11’s Aspen Auditions: “Bull Testes!”

Aspen! California… beautiful.

We went to Colorado in this episode of American Idol and visited beautiful Aspen- Wait a minute, they went to Aspen?! Why? That’s kind of a random place to hold an audition. Was there a discount on plane tickets? Steven Tyler called it “God’s paintbrush” which is actually pretty coincidental since that’s also the name he gave his junk.

Let’s talk about the auditions, but first let me just rant for a moment about two items that stuck out to me:

‘Tealana Hedgespeth?’ Is she a character from Harry Potter? Who feels the need to punish their children by sticking them with a name that pretty much assures they’re either going to be a road side fortune teller or a villain in the popular Doctor Who television series. As John Mayer famously said after smoking a bowl and slipping into a pair of bamboo Keds, “Father’s, be good to your daughters,” and don’t torture them with such terrible names.

Can I just talk about Magic Cyclops for a moment? Long story short: he’s my favorite contestant ever. The commitment to the ridiculous character, the pithy dialogue with the judges, the confetti gun in his pants, and of course, the gem of a moment as he left the show, “Can you play the ‘Incredible Hulk’ theme music as I walk away?” God bless American Idol… because they totally did.


Here we go!

Day One

Jenni Schick
- 24 years old
- VA
- She sang “Heartbreaker.”
- I hated her from the moment she opened her mouth. She’s loud, boisterous, and annoying.
- Maybe her smile will make me feel better- NOPE! DEAD TOOTH! DEAD TOOTH!
- She is a Music teacher and hates the recorder, which is understandable because that stupid instrument led a generation of kids to play “Hot Cross Buns” in an endless, agonizing loop.
- “Can I get a kiss?” Ryan sweetly declined, but his eyes said, “No thanks, I don’t want herpes.”
- She had a shallow, tepid voice which tended to get sharp in her upper register. Average.
- 7/10

Curtis Gray
- 28 years old
- FL
- He sang “It’s So Hard To Say Goodbye To Yesterday.”
- Curtis was brave enough to rock the always popular black shirt and jeans combo.
- This started really shaky, but he slowly regained his confidence and pitch. He’s still just an average singer, but probably good enough to make it to the next round.
- 7/10

Richie Law
- 19 years old
- CO
- An uglier Scotty McCreery.
- 6.5/10

Devan Jones
- 26 years old
- CA
- Devan had nice control, but I still wasn’t seeing anything mind-blowing from Aspen.
- 7.5/10

Mathenne Trego
- 25 years old
- CO
- He sang “Hey Jude.”
- His voice was too affected, but the voice was strong. If he could calm the @#$% down…
- 8/10

Haley Smith
- 18 years old
- UT
- She sang “Tell Me Something Good.”
- “I live in a log cabin in the middle of nowhere.” Umm… awesome. Do you make rock candy and sell trinkets at the general store?
- Very interesting singer. Raw. Brave. Unique.
- 8/10

Shelby Tweten
- 17 years old
- MN
- She sang “Temporary Home.”
- She’s bipolar and depressed. I’d be depressed too if I had that Minnesotan accent… no, but seriously, the poor girl is dealing with some tough stuff.
- Sweet voice; she reminded me a bit of Lauren Alaina, but with a folksier vibe.
- She’s going to be eaten alive in Hollywood.
- 8/10

Jairon Jackson
- 19 years old
- CO
- He sang “So Hard.”
- Wolf sweater for the win!!
- Seriously?! Giant jean shorts?? What year is it?!
- Average R&B voice, but he was going flat towards the end of that song in a big way.
- 7/10

Angie Zeiderman
- 25 years old
- FL
- She sang “Blue Bayou.”
- “People will call me Lady Gaga, sometimes, when I’m walking down the street.” Yeah… because they’re making fun of you.
- “It’s time for a vintage glitter queen on American Idol.” Hey, Clay Aiken came in second place!
- It was probably not the most strategic decision to sing “When You Got It, Flaunt it” from The Producers.
7.5/10


31 singers made it through to Hollywood! See you next week as we watch the Houston auditions!

NGH

[druth8x]

1st three episodes were close to 50 through. CO only had 31, almost as bad as Puerto Rico.

[Steven]

"Umm… awesome. Do you make rock candy and sell trinkets at the general store?"

[druth8x]

Just looked at your scores ugh, those are all too high. Take 2 points off a of them and it would make more sense.

[nevergoinghome]

Just looked at your scores ugh, those are all too high. Take 2 points off a of them and it would make more sense.

It's a pretty relaxed scoring system.

7 and 7.5 represent average to me.

8 is above average. Slightly.

[druth8x]

It's a pretty relaxed scoring system.

7 and 7.5 represent average to me.

8 is above average. Slightly.

Oh ok that makes sense then.

not like Kevin's strict score system where 5 would be a 2 or 3 on most peoples score system. and he doesnt give 10s or 9s so mostly 7s.

[Sportsman280]

Can I just talk about Magic Cyclops for a moment? Long story short: he’s my favorite contestant ever. The commitment to the ridiculous character, the pithy dialogue with the judges, the confetti gun in his pants, and of course, the gem of a moment as he left the show, “Can you play the ‘Incredible Hulk’ theme music as I walk away?” God bless American Idol… because they totally did.
Here we go!

Me too so, so much. He was brilliant. I loved him. His riverboat gambling debt, the BBC influenced British accent, her trangenderness, his self-aware creepy homeless aura, his 11,000 air guitars, his pronunciation of Jimmy Buffet, his Mexican poncho, his confetti ass cannon, everything. Insanely witty guy, had a brilliant comeback to everything. Him asking to be played off with the Incredible Hulk theme music was genius. I found his youtube page and he mostly spouts nonsense and plays air guitar, but we'll see if he amounts to anymore hilarity.

[druth8x]

I rewatched the episode, well more pressed play and read IDF, but I did make a point to watch his whole segment and yeah even though I felt he was paid/planted for that, he is now one of the audition legends even if the casual ans aren't watching the show.

[tireswing]

Oh my, what does it say about me that I didn't even notice Shelby's accent? Great review, though, as always.