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> the official talk about your crush thread, girls & boys ; both welcomed !
AngelOfMusic8908
post Feb 19th 2012, 9:06 PM
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QUOTE(Kayli @ Feb 19th 2012, 7:25 PM) *

I've been in none pinch.gif huggy.gif

Makes me feel like I'm not good enough for anyone, but I just try and stay positive and know the right guy will come along when the time is right.

ALSO, you have to learn to love yourself before you can let someone else do it. One of my current issues I'm working on.

huggy.gif

I know how that feels......in high school, guys never asked me out. I never got a date ever. But I do know the right guy is out there somewhere.

I'm trying to work on that too.


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hannahdotcom
post Feb 19th 2012, 11:05 PM
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QUOTE(AngelOfMusic8908 @ Feb 19th 2012, 8:14 PM) *

One book I have said that a girl's weight can be a deciding factor in whether or not a guy finds a girl attractive. According to that book, a girl who is overweight gives off the vibe that the girl doesn't care about herself very much. That is such a lie. I do care about myself and try so hard to be beautiful but nothing works. Probably why I have only had 2 relationships is because I'm too ugly to be a keeper.


First off, that book sounds like it was written just to make girls feel terrible about themselves. I don't think weight matters at all in a relationship! I think it's self confidence that matters more. I know of plenty of relationships where weight played no role in the relationship, but that the inside of the person mattered. You seem like an awesome girl and you will find an awesome guy! And even though I don't know you all that well, I know that you have to be beautiful and are definitely a keeper just based off your personality! Also..if it makes you feel better (and it further proves that weight plays no role), I have never had a relationship and have had very very very VERY few guys interested and I'm currently around 107 (which I feel okay at.. I used to be 95 or so but ate and ate until I finally gained a good amount of weight). I think a lot of it is my strict morals and low self-confidence though..but I believe that I'll find the right guy someday, so I hope you believe you'll find your guy too!! huggy.gif

This post has been edited by hannahdotcom: Feb 19th 2012, 11:18 PM


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AngelOfMusic8908
post Feb 19th 2012, 11:31 PM
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QUOTE(hannahdotcom @ Feb 19th 2012, 10:05 PM) *

First off, that book sounds like it was written just to make girls feel terrible about themselves. I don't think weight matters at all in a relationship! I think it's self confidence that matters more. I know of plenty of relationships where weight played no role in the relationship, but that the inside of the person mattered. You seem like an awesome girl and you will find an awesome guy! And even though I don't know you all that well, I know that you have to be beautiful and are definitely a keeper just based off your personality! Also..if it makes you feel better (and it further proves that weight plays no role), I have never had a relationship and have had very very very VERY few guys interested and I'm currently around 107 (which I feel okay at.. I used to be 95 or so but ate and ate until I finally gained a good amount of weight). I think a lot of it is my strict morals and low self-confidence though..but I believe that I'll find the right guy someday, so I hope you believe you'll find your guy too!! huggy.gif

Thanks Hannah huggy.gif. I do have low self-confidence because of people who have bullied me in the past (in real life and online). One thing I like about my best friend is that he likes me for who I am, not what I look like or what I've done (I've done some things I'm not proud of). He's never cared about looks, he cares more about what's on the inside. He's the only person who has been there for me the past few years (which have been rough). His only reason for not wanting a relationship right now is that he wants to be able to support himself first. And that I can understand. And he does see us possibly being together someday.

I've been feeling sad about love a lot recently........thinking about this guy that started off as a teenage dream, but ended up being the one that got away [/Katy Perry fan]. I never told him my feelings and he left the country before I could. I hated myself for weeks for that and I still miss him.


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hannahdotcom
post Feb 19th 2012, 11:57 PM
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QUOTE(AngelOfMusic8908 @ Feb 19th 2012, 11:31 PM) *

Thanks Hannah huggy.gif. I do have low self-confidence because of people who have bullied me in the past (in real life and online). One thing I like about my best friend is that he likes me for who I am, not what I look like or what I've done (I've done some things I'm not proud of). He's never cared about looks, he cares more about what's on the inside. He's the only person who has been there for me the past few years (which have been rough). His only reason for not wanting a relationship right now is that he wants to be able to support himself first. And that I can understand. And he does see us possibly being together someday.

I've been feeling sad about love a lot recently........thinking about this guy that started off as a teenage dream, but ended up being the one that got away [/Katy Perry fan]. I never told him my feelings and he left the country before I could. I hated myself for weeks for that and I still miss him.


Aw, I know how it is. I haven't been terribly bullied, but I have had people diss me my whole life about various things. It sucks.. but I've grown to really respect myself and I'm proud of who I am. I no longer wish I was more like anyone else, because I've found that most people aren't even what they appear to be. But it's very good that you have someone who can make you feel better about yourself! That's a huge stepping stone in building up self-confidence!

And me too!! I just feel like crap because for once a really nice guy likes me and I don't like him back as anything more than a friend. Last week I promised though that I'd go bowling with him (because free bowling night is this week at my college..and bowling is one of his favorite hobbies) but at least that's in a group.. But as for the guy I actually like (my math guy) ..I feel alright. We talked friday and I kind of set my plan into action...but not really, because he was super stressed about his calculus grade so I spent more time trying to cheer him up over that lol...but gahhhh he's perfect and I hope to spend some time with him this week.. even if it means doing calculus homework/studying calculus haha.gif


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AngelOfMusic8908
post Feb 20th 2012, 12:09 AM
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QUOTE(hannahdotcom @ Feb 19th 2012, 10:57 PM) *

Aw, I know how it is. I haven't been terribly bullied, but I have had people diss me my whole life about various things. It sucks.. but I've grown to really respect myself and I'm proud of who I am. I no longer wish I was more like anyone else, because I've found that most people aren't even what they appear to be. But it's very good that you have someone who can make you feel better about yourself! That's a huge stepping stone in building up self-confidence!

And me too!! I just feel like crap because for once a really nice guy likes me and I don't like him back as anything more than a friend. Last week I promised though that I'd go bowling with him (because free bowling night is this week at my college..and bowling is one of his favorite hobbies) but at least that's in a group.. But as for the guy I actually like (my math guy) ..I feel alright. We talked friday and I kind of set my plan into action...but not really, because he was super stressed about his calculus grade so I spent more time trying to cheer him up over that lol...but gahhhh he's perfect and I hope to spend some time with him this week.. even if it means doing calculus homework/studying calculus haha.gif

I've been called all sorts of things. Among them, annoying, ugly, fat, and other things. My self-confidence really took a blow when I was a senior in high school, when an anonymous girl wrote in my Facebook "honesty box" that I was only popular because people like making fun of me and talking behind my back, and that there was no point in telling people not to make fun of me anymore. I got so upset over that that I deleted my honesty box (to this day I don't know who wrote that) and cried about it at my next youth group. My youth leader said it was a very mean thing for that person to do. One of my friends from school and youth group told me that she overheard once in the cafeteria a bunch of girls saying that what they do for fun is write random crap in people's honesty boxes. And I am very thankful that I have Jason now because he's the one who's always been there.

My situation is slightly different. Last year, I met this amazing guy at the blood bank (I'm a blood donor). He had started working there that January (when I first met him) and he and I hit it off. He was almost too good for me: he was a double major in Spanish and Philosophy at the university, he was 27 (6 years older than me) at the time we met, and he was basically super sweet to me. Every time I had an appointment I looked forward to it so I could see him and find a new way to attract him. I asked him once if he had a girlfriend and he said he didn't. So I could have gone for him if I wanted. I also saw him at the library periodically. In July tho, he revealed that he was leaving to teach a class in Japan at the end of the month. That hit me like a ton of bricks. I thankfully had put on a nice outfit that day and looked semi-decently attractive. When I left to go to my church thing later on, I told him to have a good time, and he told me "take care, Lily". That whole rest of the week I was frazzled. A few days later I saw him at the library again, and I decided to tell him how I felt. I didn't want to say it upfront, so I wrote it in a note. He left before I could give him the note, and I never saw him again. I hated myself for weeks for not telling him my feelings and not knowing what might have been. I still think about him sometimes and wonder how he's doing.


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Kayli
post Feb 20th 2012, 12:26 AM
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Grhhh. I hate that I can't make myself not like him! I do a good job of pretending I don't... but I know I still do. And he obviously doesn't f*cking care cause he's made no attempt to talk to me in two weeks and the two times I saw him at work he acted like I was a stranger or something and didn't even make eye contact with me. Pisses me off. I want to ignore him back so bad, but in my head I know I still care and I know I still want to talk to him and stuff. Butttt I'm not gonna unless HE actually legit shows he cares and makes an genuine attempt to talk to me.


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AngelOfMusic8908
post Feb 20th 2012, 12:57 AM
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I wish I knew some good ways to get his attention. I have his number but don't want to come off as too eager/interested by incessantly texting him. I also wonder if I'm even good enough for him. I do think there's something there between us but hesitate to figure out what it is. I just want him to like me. And I don't want to flat-out ask him "do you like me?" because I am afraid I won't like the answer.


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noise
post Feb 20th 2012, 2:35 AM
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Love has nothing to do with size/shape/weight. When I lost a bunch of weight and reached almost below 100 lbs, no guy wanted anything to do with me more than they would have already.Plus, why in the effing world would you want a guy that would only like you because you're skinny!? If a guy ever says he doesn't like your body, FCK EM. He's not worth any of your time. I think almost every girl has been called fat, ugly, stupid, dumb... at some point in their life. And you can either cry about it, or let it make you stronger. Go to the gym, work off your anger, not only will it help you lose a bit of weight but it will make you feel better (physically and emotionally.) Besides, physical attraction can only go so far... how many guys have you known that are dead sexy and then turn out to be douches? Not so attracted to them anymore, are ya? It's all about confidence and personality. And take it from me, don't waste all your time on someone who isn't there, or a guy that hasn't done everything in his power to be with you, because in the end you will just get hurt. There is someone out there for you that will do anything for you, just give it time. Everything happens for a reason. heart.gif


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Annie
post Feb 20th 2012, 4:31 AM
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QUOTE(noise @ Feb 19th 2012, 11:35 PM) *

Love has nothing to do with size/shape/weight. When I lost a bunch of weight and reached almost below 100 lbs, no guy wanted anything to do with me more than they would have already.Plus, why in the effing world would you want a guy that would only like you because you're skinny!? If a guy ever says he doesn't like your body, FCK EM. He's not worth any of your time. I think almost every girl has been called fat, ugly, stupid, dumb... at some point in their life. And you can either cry about it, or let it make you stronger. Go to the gym, work off your anger, not only will it help you lose a bit of weight but it will make you feel better (physically and emotionally.) Besides, physical attraction can only go so far... how many guys have you known that are dead sexy and then turn out to be douches? Not so attracted to them anymore, are ya? It's all about confidence and personality. And take it from me, don't waste all your time on someone who isn't there, or a guy that hasn't done everything in his power to be with you, because in the end you will just get hurt. There is someone out there for you that will do anything for you, just give it time. Everything happens for a reason. heart.gif


THIS.



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claysababe
post Feb 20th 2012, 6:59 AM
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QUOTE(noise @ Feb 20th 2012, 2:35 AM) *

Love has nothing to do with size/shape/weight. When I lost a bunch of weight and reached almost below 100 lbs, no guy wanted anything to do with me more than they would have already.Plus, why in the effing world would you want a guy that would only like you because you're skinny!? If a guy ever says he doesn't like your body, FCK EM. He's not worth any of your time. I think almost every girl has been called fat, ugly, stupid, dumb... at some point in their life. And you can either cry about it, or let it make you stronger. Go to the gym, work off your anger, not only will it help you lose a bit of weight but it will make you feel better (physically and emotionally.) Besides, physical attraction can only go so far... how many guys have you known that are dead sexy and then turn out to be douches? Not so attracted to them anymore, are ya? It's all about confidence and personality. And take it from me, don't waste all your time on someone who isn't there, or a guy that hasn't done everything in his power to be with you, because in the end you will just get hurt. There is someone out there for you that will do anything for you, just give it time. Everything happens for a reason. heart.gif


Ah, so motivating, Lia! w00t.gif love this!


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smilesunshineex3
post Feb 20th 2012, 11:08 AM
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QUOTE(noise @ Feb 20th 2012, 2:35 AM) *

Love has nothing to do with size/shape/weight. When I lost a bunch of weight and reached almost below 100 lbs, no guy wanted anything to do with me more than they would have already.Plus, why in the effing world would you want a guy that would only like you because you're skinny!? If a guy ever says he doesn't like your body, FCK EM. He's not worth any of your time. I think almost every girl has been called fat, ugly, stupid, dumb... at some point in their life. And you can either cry about it, or let it make you stronger. Go to the gym, work off your anger, not only will it help you lose a bit of weight but it will make you feel better (physically and emotionally.) Besides, physical attraction can only go so far... how many guys have you known that are dead sexy and then turn out to be douches? Not so attracted to them anymore, are ya? It's all about confidence and personality. And take it from me, don't waste all your time on someone who isn't there, or a guy that hasn't done everything in his power to be with you, because in the end you will just get hurt. There is someone out there for you that will do anything for you, just give it time. Everything happens for a reason. heart.gif

heart.gif huggy.gif


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juniorfan4eva
post Feb 20th 2012, 12:03 PM
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Yes Lia!

Last week I read Unbearable Lightness by Portia de Rossi (AMAZINGGGG heart.gif) and she said when she met Ellen she was 165 pounds, not when she was unhealthy and under 100. original.gif If they really love you weight doesn't matter grin.gif


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AngelOfMusic8908
post Feb 20th 2012, 1:06 PM
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QUOTE(noise @ Feb 20th 2012, 1:35 AM) *

Love has nothing to do with size/shape/weight. When I lost a bunch of weight and reached almost below 100 lbs, no guy wanted anything to do with me more than they would have already.Plus, why in the effing world would you want a guy that would only like you because you're skinny!? If a guy ever says he doesn't like your body, FCK EM. He's not worth any of your time. I think almost every girl has been called fat, ugly, stupid, dumb... at some point in their life. And you can either cry about it, or let it make you stronger. Go to the gym, work off your anger, not only will it help you lose a bit of weight but it will make you feel better (physically and emotionally.) Besides, physical attraction can only go so far... how many guys have you known that are dead sexy and then turn out to be douches? Not so attracted to them anymore, are ya? It's all about confidence and personality. And take it from me, don't waste all your time on someone who isn't there, or a guy that hasn't done everything in his power to be with you, because in the end you will just get hurt. There is someone out there for you that will do anything for you, just give it time. Everything happens for a reason. heart.gif

Thanks Lia heart.gif huggy.gif. I do have someone who will do anything for me, and I would do anything for him.


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Kayli
post Feb 20th 2012, 3:04 PM
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QUOTE(noise @ Feb 20th 2012, 1:35 AM) *

Love has nothing to do with size/shape/weight. When I lost a bunch of weight and reached almost below 100 lbs, no guy wanted anything to do with me more than they would have already.Plus, why in the effing world would you want a guy that would only like you because you're skinny!? If a guy ever says he doesn't like your body, FCK EM. He's not worth any of your time. I think almost every girl has been called fat, ugly, stupid, dumb... at some point in their life. And you can either cry about it, or let it make you stronger. Go to the gym, work off your anger, not only will it help you lose a bit of weight but it will make you feel better (physically and emotionally.) Besides, physical attraction can only go so far... how many guys have you known that are dead sexy and then turn out to be douches? Not so attracted to them anymore, are ya? It's all about confidence and personality. And take it from me, don't waste all your time on someone who isn't there, or a guy that hasn't done everything in his power to be with you, because in the end you will just get hurt. There is someone out there for you that will do anything for you, just give it time. Everything happens for a reason. heart.gif

LOVE.


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Oliviaaa
post Feb 20th 2012, 3:06 PM
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QUOTE(noise @ Feb 20th 2012, 1:35 AM) *

Love has nothing to do with size/shape/weight. When I lost a bunch of weight and reached almost below 100 lbs, no guy wanted anything to do with me more than they would have already.Plus, why in the effing world would you want a guy that would only like you because you're skinny!? If a guy ever says he doesn't like your body, FCK EM. He's not worth any of your time. I think almost every girl has been called fat, ugly, stupid, dumb... at some point in their life. And you can either cry about it, or let it make you stronger. Go to the gym, work off your anger, not only will it help you lose a bit of weight but it will make you feel better (physically and emotionally.) Besides, physical attraction can only go so far... how many guys have you known that are dead sexy and then turn out to be douches? Not so attracted to them anymore, are ya? It's all about confidence and personality. And take it from me, don't waste all your time on someone who isn't there, or a guy that hasn't done everything in his power to be with you, because in the end you will just get hurt. There is someone out there for you that will do anything for you, just give it time. Everything happens for a reason. heart.gif

This is perfect. heart.gif


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smilesunshineex3
post Feb 20th 2012, 3:08 PM
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So I have a pretty bad history of guys who act interested in me one day and then stop talking to me completely without explanation the next..so I was kind of freaking out this morning because I had texted my boyfriend last night before his midnight baseball practice and he didn't respond, causing me to lay up half the night worrying that I had done something wrong and he was ignoring me. Then around noon, he texted me saying what a great pick-me-up my message was and that he didn't text back because he hadn't wanted to wake me up...oh, the irony. I really need to get over these trust issues! If he didn't want me, he wouldn't be with me... pinch.gif It's just so hard sometimes when it's happened so many times in the past.


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Kayli
post Feb 20th 2012, 3:11 PM
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QUOTE(smilesunshineex3 @ Feb 20th 2012, 2:08 PM) *

So I have a pretty bad history of guys who act interested in me one day and then stop talking to me completely without explanation the next..so I was kind of freaking out this morning because I had texted my boyfriend last night before his midnight baseball practice and he didn't respond, causing me to lay up half the night worrying that I had done something wrong and he was ignoring me. Then around noon, he texted me saying what a great pick-me-up my message was and that he didn't text back because he hadn't wanted to wake me up...oh, the irony. I really need to get over these trust issues! If he didn't want me, he wouldn't be with me... pinch.gif It's just so hard sometimes when it's happened so many times in the past.

Story of my life, ughh. pinch.gif

And that's cute! But I totally get what you mean, I over analyze things way too much like that.


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AngelOfMusic8908
post Feb 20th 2012, 3:47 PM
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QUOTE(smilesunshineex3 @ Feb 20th 2012, 2:08 PM) *

So I have a pretty bad history of guys who act interested in me one day and then stop talking to me completely without explanation the next..so I was kind of freaking out this morning because I had texted my boyfriend last night before his midnight baseball practice and he didn't respond, causing me to lay up half the night worrying that I had done something wrong and he was ignoring me. Then around noon, he texted me saying what a great pick-me-up my message was and that he didn't text back because he hadn't wanted to wake me up...oh, the irony. I really need to get over these trust issues! If he didn't want me, he wouldn't be with me... pinch.gif It's just so hard sometimes when it's happened so many times in the past.

that's sweet of him to be considerate of you.

And I over-analyze things too. When people don't respond to my texts or whatever I start freaking out thinking they're ignoring me on purpose. But it usually turns out that they just didn't have their phone on them or were busy.


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smilesunshineex3
post Feb 20th 2012, 4:10 PM
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QUOTE(Kayli @ Feb 20th 2012, 3:11 PM) *

Story of my life, ughh. pinch.gif

And that's cute! But I totally get what you mean, I over analyze things way too much like that.
QUOTE(AngelOfMusic8908 @ Feb 20th 2012, 3:47 PM) *

that's sweet of him to be considerate of you.

And I over-analyze things too. When people don't respond to my texts or whatever I start freaking out thinking they're ignoring me on purpose. But it usually turns out that they just didn't have their phone on them or were busy.


Thank goodness I'm not the only one. original.gif The thing is, I don't think he knows about the multiple times I've been screwed over, but nonetheless it was very sweet and then I just felt like an idiot for even thinking anything bad. I tend to over-analyze everything else (friends, family etc) as well, but I think it gets even worse when it comes to my boyfriend because I don't want to lose him permanently. sad.gif Just something I'll have to adjust to, I guess.


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i can't, no i won't hush
i'll say the words that make you
blush
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xoSam
post Feb 20th 2012, 4:24 PM
Post #4600



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QUOTE(AngelOfMusic8908 @ Feb 19th 2012, 10:14 PM) *

One book I have said that a girl's weight can be a deciding factor in whether or not a guy finds a girl attractive. According to that book, a girl who is overweight gives off the vibe that the girl doesn't care about herself very much. That is such a lie. I do care about myself and try so hard to be beautiful but nothing works. Probably why I have only had 2 relationships is because I'm too ugly to be a keeper.


So I know I don't really belong in this thread, but I was reading your post and they absolutely broke my heart and I couldn't not say something. First of all, never let someone else's expectations define who YOU are. You have one life, you get to decide how you will live, how you feel, who you become. I think all of us kind of get trapped up in this whole comparison war - but you know what? There's always going to be someone skinnier than us. Or taller, or shorter, or more tanned. We can't live our lives trying to measure ourselves against people who are not us, you will never find peace or happiness this way. You made such an emphasis on how losing weight will make you feel more beautiful, but I can tell you first hand that's not true. You need to look inside and see why you are really unhappy, because it's never as obvious as it seems, there's always a deeper cause for our unhappiness or insecurities. I have been in the hospital with feeding tubes shoved down my throat because I didn't think I was skinny enough, and you know what? My boyfriend almost broke up with me, because I didn't have enough self confidence, and it was destroying him to see me destroy myself. He almost broke up with me for being too skinny. I realize this may come off as hypocritical, because I'm not saying I've achieved my peace - but I know I deserve it. I just don't know how to get it yet. You deserve peace, love, happiness, and greatness. Your life can be as amazing as you want it to be. To build off what Lia said, if you are having self esteem issues, start there. Don't look at the gym as being 'the way' but look at it as a means to improve your situation. Don't think of it as "as soon as I loose this weight I will be happy!" Because there isn't one answer to everything, it's not that easy. Happiness comes from within, not from outside. I can tell you with 100% certainty that putting all your hope into your ideal body type will not bring you happiness. Start with saying "physical activity can help improve my mood by increasing endorphin's, so maybe even a few minutes every other day may help". You are beautiful and worthy, and you are more than enough. You do not need to change who you are, you just need to change what is making you unhappy. You will find a guy who loves you for exactly who you are, and then you will realize what a waste it was to wish you were someone else.

Stay positive, stay hopeful, and start small. Work towards happiness, not towards 'getting skinny will make me beautiful and get me guys'. You are beautiful and you will find your love, so why compromise who you are in the process? You need to be yourself or you'll never be happy, it's as simple as that.

And never forget this, this quote has made such an impact on me..

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

You are beautiful, remember that. Be yourself, and happiness WILL follow eventually. I promise you that. I'm still on the journey, but it is getting better, bit by bit each day.

I'm always here if you want someone to talk to. My insecurities almost took my life. I know how lonely it can feel, but I also know there is hope. Never forget that - any of you.

huggy.gif huggy.gif huggy.gif heart.gif


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hush little babe, don't overreact
keep it all in and hold it all back
hush little darling, time to save face
give it some time, go down with some grace
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